Today Molly addresses ageism and its impact on how society values older generations. She underscores that everyone will experience ageism and highlights the importance of challenging these stereotypes. Through her project, "Insightful Videos," Molly interviews older adults, including her 76-year-old mother, to help them reflect on their life stories and wisdom. These emotional conversations reveal the value older adults bring to our lives. Molly encourages listeners to engage with older generations and listen to their experiences, as doing so can enrich our understanding of life.
Today Molly addresses ageism and its impact on how society values older generations. She underscores that everyone will experience ageism and highlights the importance of challenging these stereotypes. Through her project, "Insightful Videos," Molly interviews older adults, including her 76-year-old mother, to help them reflect on their life stories and wisdom. These emotional conversations reveal the value older adults bring to our lives. Molly encourages listeners to engage with older generations and listen to their experiences, as doing so can enrich our understanding of life.
Click here to watch a clip of Molly's mom or to get in touch for your own Insightful Video:
https://www.insightfullegacy.com/how-it-works
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Have you ever made a joke about someone's older age, maybe you poke fun at them about their birthday, or you tell them they're losing it when they can't find their keys, or remember what they were talking about. Have you ever felt irritated with an older adult? Have you ever lost patients if they didn't understand new technology or perhaps you blamed older adults for conservatism and the current political state? Remember at the beginning of the pandemic, when people called COVID the boomer disease.
Do you think that there's nothing exciting or sexy about older age?
If you have answered yes to any of these, you are not alone. Dear listeners. I am guilty of all of the above and while I'm not proud of it, I am working very hard to change my behavior and to inspire you to change yours too.
Stick around for the next eight or so minutes. To learn why? I think older generations are the most 📍 interesting and why it will benefit you to think so, too. Welcome to Molly at this age. an itty bitty version of I am this age, the podcast proving it's never too late and you're never too old.
So go do that thing. You're always talking about. I'm Molly Sider. I'm a certified professional life coach. Storyteller speaker and current social work, graduate student. And today's episode doubles as a final assignment for my lifespan development course. Hi professor, 📍 Wynn.
Ageism is the only ism. Every person in our society, no matter their race, religion, gender, et cetera, will experience. If you're a person who would like to alleviate racism, sexism, antisemitism, ableism. Or any other ism that you're affected by or passionate about? You have to dismantle all isms, including age-ism. And I think that there is no better way to do this than to hear the stories of the people from older generations. Western culture has yet to teach us the value of older adults. On the contrary, we often dismiss them as out of touch, slow, frail, or even dispensable. How often have you heard someone accused of being over the hill? Have you ever stopped to think about the meaning of that phrase?
Some of, you know, that I used to be in the wine industry. And we often use that phrase to describe a wine that's too old to be the very thing it was meant to be, which is drinkable. A, wine that's lost its fruit acidity and all the other characteristics. One looks for in a wine that's of value. Over the hill wine means it's a throwaway wine. It has no purpose it's for all intents and purposes, dead. But older adults are not throwaways.
They have great value. And I'm here to remind you dear listeners, that if you're a lucky. One day, you might be an older adult to.
A short time ago, I started a project called insightful videos. It's more than just your legacy.
These are private video interviews that I conduct with an older adult to help them reflect on their life accomplishments. To reveal what really makes them, them behind their successes without their titles and separate from their relationships. It's a space to help pull out all the great ways they think while remembering all the impactful things they've done. A chance to dig deep and explore the reasons behind their chosen path and to share their hard earned wisdoms with others. Perhaps most importantly, it's an opportunity to gain insights into their strengths. Uh, talents and interests and how they might apply all that knowledge to whatever comes next. However old they are.
Like any good daughter?
I asked my 76 year old mom to be my first interviewee. You know, to practice. And like any good parent, she hesitated only nervously and skeptically agreed. I have conducted many interviews at this point, and I'm pretty confident in my interviewing abilities. Mainly my ability to make people feel comfortable and safe sharing intimate details of their lives.
So going into this initial interview, I was primarily concerned with getting the video part right. Since it was new to me. And I was less worried about the actual interview conversation. Well, I quite nailed the video and in my opinion, bombed the interview with very poorly thought out questions and followups.
Wop, wop, wop, wop.
However, my mom knew the assignment and she showed up.
In fact, she knocked it out of the park. I was amazed at her willingness and ability to answer my questions, honestly, and vulnerably weaving in humor with heavy topics, laughing through tears and reflecting in real meaningful ways. This woman had nervously paced the room.
As I was setting up my cameras, she wasn't used to being the focus of attention and she worried you'd have nothing of value to share. And yet when it came time, she showed me new ways to see her. She told me how she wanted to be understood. And even though I feel like I missed a lot of opportunities to go deeper, we both walked away feeling deeply connected.
Once I edited the video. I had my mom, my sister, and a few of our friends sit together to watch it. As they listen to my mom reveal herself. I observed them laughing and crying with her. The room was heavy with emotion and after it was finished, I had the absolute pleasure. I have a witnessing my mom floating from the relief of really feeling seen. But as I mentioned, I felt I missed some opportunities.
So just recently, and admittedly, as part of my school assignment, I sat down with my mom. To dig a little bit more.
This interview was not recorded aside from some notes I took. But here is what I learned from that moment. Anyone who tells you that people, especially older adults? Can't change is talking about people who don't want to change, or they don't have the tools to change. Older age is just another developmental phase of life. Like mid-life young adulthood, adolescents toddlerhood and even infancy. We are changing and aging from the moment we are born and we don't stop until we die. But some people often those of older age while still alive. Do stop living. My mom's husband passed away a few years ago.
There are plenty of people who lose a spouse and lose themselves.
But since my stepfather passed. I have witnessed my mom work hard on growing her emotional intelligence. I have watched her determination to become the best person she can imagine being which includes staying open to ways.
She never even knew was possible. Sitting down with her the other day to conduct this second interview was a surprise only, and how much she has grown since the first interview. She spoke with an understanding and authenticity. I had not seen before. I am completely inspired by my mother and the person she's becoming.
And I feel very lucky to have her as my mom.
But here's the thing. My mom, isn't an anomaly. She's not the exception. If I've learned anything from interviewing her or any of the other countless older people I've had on the show. It's that life never stops. Whatever you're navigating right now.
Be it relationships, friendships, career, or anything else? We'll be the same thing. You're navigating that. Sure it will look different. The story and the characters will likely change, but the feelings and the emotions remain. I'm not saying this to scare you, but rather to give you perspective. What matters are the tools and the support systems you'll have.
What makes a difference is the access to real connections and community. What motivates a person to keep living are two very important things. And those are feeling purposeful and feeling really seen.
Age, often gifts, an older adult, the desire to get closer and closer to authenticity while it is their responsibility to share that side of themselves. It is our privilege to listen. After all they've been through everything we're currently experiencing. We have access to so much wise guidance. All we have to do is ask. They share.
We listen, everyone feels connected and all leave with that same relief. Of feeling seen. 📍 Go ahead. Try it. Let me know what happens.
If you want to see a snippet of my mom's video interview, click the link in the show notes for insightful videos and scroll down. If you know someone in the Chicago land area who might be interested in an insightful video, click that same link and fill out the form below the video. If you love this episode or any other episodes, please share it with one person you think might love it too.
📍 The more we grow, the more we can help you grow. Thank you to professor Wynn for a great first semester class, it was a pleasure. Thank you also to Dan Devin for my music, David Harper for my artwork. I am. This age is produced by jellyfish industries. I'm your host, Molly Sider. Until next time, 📍 stay curious.