Have you ever felt frustrated that life appears to be easier for others while you seem to be struggling? It's easy to feel overwhelmed and even resentful. In today's episode, you'll discover why some individuals can achieve their goals more easily than others and what it takes to believe you can achieve your goals, too.
Have you ever felt frustrated that life appears to be easier for others while you seem to be struggling? It's easy to feel overwhelmed and even resentful. In today's episode, you'll discover why some individuals can achieve their goals more easily than others and what it takes to believe you can achieve your goals, too.
If you're struggling with this, reach out to Molly!
Doesn't it sometimes frustrate you to watch other people quickly and seamlessly make life changes. When you've been working on your own life changes for what feels like forever. Do you ever feel overwhelmed or even resentful at those who say, decide to start a new business in June and by September, they're already making money when you've been working on a similar business for a year and you're still struggling to get clients. Isn't it annoying that life seems to come so easily for some people. I'm with you, dear listeners.
Welcome to Molly at this age, an itty bitty episode of I am this age, the podcast proving it's never too late and you're never too old. So go do that thing. You're always talking about. I'm Molly Sider. I'm a certified professional life. Coach a speaker, a storyteller, a storytelling advocate. These new short little episodes are where I reveal a little bit more about my own change journey. And the jewels that have helped me through it. 📍
This podcast is all about making changes. Big life changes in career love, health, and a whole bunch of other ways. And I really do believe that anyone absolutely anyone can change if they want to.
And I also believe that if you really want to make a change, you should.
However, what I think is often misunderstood and overlooked. Is that the process of change will look very different for different types of people. So for the sake of I simplified eight minute ish podcast episode, let's divide these people into two groups.
In the first group are the people who making change and learning new things come seasonally. These are the people who think of something they want to do, do it. And shortly afterwards are pretty successful at it. Let's take my friend, Beth, for example, who one day decided she wanted to promote her business on TV. So she figured out who to reach out to and the right things to say.
And lo and behold, she got herself a segment on good morning, America. Yay for Beth. Now to be fair, I'm sure that Beth worked hard for this segment, but the point here is that the hard part didn't deter her. And now I see Beth on TV all the time. Meanwhile, the second group might include those who also have a business they'd like to promote on TV. They also have something smart to say and even embody the same. Amount of TV term that Beth has, but they can't seem to get any press at all, not even in the local paper. So group one wonders.
Why group two? Can't just do the thing that they say they want. Get your shit together. Group one might think you're not committing enough. They might say. And they might be right. Meanwhile group two resents group one for easily getting everything that they want. Group two thinks, huh? Must be nice. Group one. While quietly blaming themselves. And also wondering why they can't get their shit together.
So what's really going on here is group one better, smarter and more talented. His group too lazy, dumb, and in capable. To that I say. My gay gay gay gay is Yiddish for nonsense. I'll tell you what's going on here or at least what I think is going on here. First allow me to tell you about my big life change.
So for those who don't already know, I used to work in the wine industry and there I had a pretty important role and I was, and still am, if I do say so myself known and regarded highly in the industry across the country and even in some other countries. The wine industry is a small one. But the wine industry does not have my heart, like it used to. And in the last few years, four years to be exact. I overhauled my wine career and turned my attention to you.
Dear listeners. I became life coach certified. I dipped my toe in podcast production and still fully produced this one. I'm growing my speaking career. And I'm about to launch a whole new thing, which I'll tell you about later. But here's the relevant part. It's taken me a long time. Some may say too long, and sometimes I lie in bed at night, worrying that they might be right.
And then I remember. I am a lifelong member of group two. And as a loyal member of this group, I do not possess the inherent belief. That I am worthy of the things I dream of having. I didn't grow up believing I was smart or capable of much at all.
And so I had no real vision of what my life, as an adult would look like. I didn't really have goals beyond finding a career that would pay my bills. I never thought I was worthy of making a lot of money. Certainly not by doing something I actually enjoyed. And I never really believed I was a lovable enough for someone to want to marry me. It took me a long time, about 12 years to get to the level that I was in the wine industry.
And even then, I never really felt like I belonged in my role. And I often worried that I'd be found out and banished from the wine industry. So trust me when I tell you that in the last four or so years, not only have I completely changed my life around and learn a whole new set of skills to support this new life I dreamt of. But I have also been simultaneously doing really intense, personal growth work to strengthen and grow my confidence and the belief that I am a worthy of this new life. So I haven't just had to learn new skills and steps to get a business off the ground. I've literally had to change my brain.
Now this isn't to say that group one doesn't have their own mental blocks. Of course they do. This is to say that group one trusts in their ability to overcome those blocks, because they already know that they're worthy of their goal to group one.
The goal is a challenge they need to navigate. Group to thinks of a goal, more like a fantasy. Wouldn't it be nice if that happened? Wouldn't I love if I could. The difference is their belief in their worth of getting what they want.
And these differences may seem small, but they're huge. And they're often the reason why some people are what we call doers and some aren't. Because if we don't believe in our worth. We'll likely not take the necessary actions to achieve the goal. We'll say yes.
When we should say no. We'll procrastinate and we will settle. And we'll do it because we don't think we'll ever get the thing that we really want anyway.
So what's the workaround. Well, the good news is that there is one. The bad news is that it isn't quick or easy. Which is why so many people don't follow through
but for those sticking with it, for those simultaneously learning new skills, while also growing their sense of worth. Use those new skills as proof of your ability.
Recognize your dedication to your growth as both courageous. And as evidence of your capability. See your resentments towards group one. If you have them as useful information for where you'd like to be. Learn to decipher between what's true for you versus what's true for others. Be gentle with yourself.
And if you need to take baby steps rather than changing everything at once, in fact, I recommend this. This is a great way to strengthen your belief in yourself.
And know that the time it takes you is the time that you need, you're doing double the work. So of course, it's going to take you a little bit longer. But do not hide behind this as an excuse for not making progress. You can have compassion for your pace. While finding more efficient ways to progress. Make sure you surround yourself with other people doing the same kind of work. Find people who have already navigated it, let them be your proof that it's possible, even for you. Let me be that person for you if I can do it. So can you.
And if you need extra support, reach out to me. It's no coincidence that what I work on with others. Is what I work on myself. We can't do this work alone. And if you love this episode, please share it with one other person who you also think might love it and benefit from it because the more that we grow, the more we can help you grow.
Please also make sure you're subscribed and rate the show and write a little review for the algorithm gods.
Thank you to Dan Davin for the music David Harper for the artwork. I am. This age is produced by jellyfish industries. I'm your host, Molly Sider. Until next time, stay curious, everyone.