Today, Molly explores the concept of resistance and shares her struggles with it, particularly in pursuing education and in relationships. She discusses the multifaceted nature of resistance and its triggers and offers practical strategies for utilizing resistance as a tool for personal growth. This episode is a week late because she was resistant to writing it. Please Enjoy!
Today, Molly explores the concept of resistance and shares her struggles with it, particularly in pursuing education and in relationships. She discusses the multifaceted nature of resistance and its triggers and offers practical strategies for utilizing resistance as a tool for personal growth. This episode is a week late because she was resistant to writing it. Please Enjoy!
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Do you ever find yourself feeling resistant towards something like absolute do not want putting my foot down. I don't care what anyone else has to say about it. The more you try and convince me the more I don't want to. Resistant. Yeah, me too. For me, resistance is frustration, anger, a loss of control, and a freezing in my tracks, all being tossed around together.
Each one surfacing at separate times for short periods. Only to be buried as another rises to the top and on and on and on.
Lately. I have been feeling a lot of resistance. So, what am I so resistant towards you? Ask. More importantly, how am I moving through my resistance? So I don't self sabotage and not reach my goals. Good questions, dear 📍 listeners. Listen up and find out.
Welcome to Molly at this age. And itty-bitty version of, I am this age, the podcast proving it's never too late and you're never too old.
So go do that thing. You're always talking about. I'm your host, Molly Sider, a certified professional life coach. Motivational speaker. Creator of insightful videos. And most recently, 📍 a master in social work, graduate student. And you might have guessed that school is at the top of my resistance list. Yes, that's right.
I am resistant to the very thing I chose to apply for and to pursue. And I'm even excited about it and I'm feeling a lot of resistance. So on a surface level, I am a rule follower. I love rules that make sense.
But I hate rules and systems that don't make sense or are inefficient. If no one can explain the logic behind a rule or a system. I will not get behind it. I can't get behind it. I am resistant to it.
And as many of you know, there are a lot of inefficient rules in systems in a university. For example, there are multiple and I'm talking way too many websites and portals to remember. Where to go for? What thing? Why can't they just all be in one organized website? There was the four day mandatory, but not actually mandatory orientation of which I did not attend. There was the list of books.
I spent almost $400 on which it turns out I didn't need to buy. There's a lot to resist here, but there's more to my resistance than just not liking the system. So what's really going on.
Resistance to me is about a lot of things. It's about a lack of trust. Resistance happens when I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to begin.
So sometimes I choose not to begin at all. I feel resistant to spending time somewhere. I worry I won't fit in. Or sometimes it's about really wanting to be properly understood and not lumped into the rest of the crowd. For example. I would like my professors to understand all of the social work tools I already have.
I already use. And I already share with people like you, dear listeners.
I want them to know the real reason I'm back in school to acknowledge the wisdom of being 46. Even when my peers are in their twenties, especially when my peers are in their twenties in short, I want to be seen and I resist spending my energy in places. I don't feel that way.
But it's complicated because resistance for me is also sometimes about not wanting to be seen. Fear of being seen fear of change, like starting the school year when it still feels like summer. But sometimes resistance harbors, a deeper, more existential fear, for example. Have any of you ever been in a relationship that required you to compromise something you highly value? Maybe your relationship was asking you to give more of your time to it or spend more of your money on it. When you are being asked to give up something you prioritize, of course you'll feel resistant to it. Resistance is a trigger. It's an interrupter. It stops you in your tracks. And sometimes it keeps you from getting to the goal. It blocks you and redirects you often in a direction you don't actually desire. But if you're paying attention, you can use resistance as a tool and turn it into something that fuels you.
So how do you do this? Well first you notice it. Feel it don't resist your resistance, or if you notice yourself resisting or resistance. Consider laughing at that coincidence. Like I was. Name your resistance and then get to the bottom of it. Why do you think it's there? How is it helping you? What is it telling you? You need to address. How is it holding you back? What do you fear will happen if you move forward?
And how likely is that? What are some other possibilities and what would it feel like to believe that those might be true?
For example, if you're feeling resistant to meeting a need being asked of you in your relationship, ask yourself. What do you fear you will lose if you meet your partners need and how likely is that? What might happen if you stay resistant, maybe the relationship ends. Versus if you break the resistance into pieces and face the real internal block, what might you actually gain? If you let go of your resistance to meet your partners, need.
But resistance is about fear, right? So how do you keep yourself feeling safe as you break this down? Well, use your resistance to set a boundary or ask for a need to be met so that you can calm your nervous system as you move through. Resistance shines a light on your fears and your needs. Resistance is like a big old stick in the mud, but it's also a container of information that needs your attention.
So give it your attention, break your resistance apart. So it's not this big roadblock. It's a bunch of manageable pieces. You can move aside as you move through and towards your goal.
Let your resistance tell you what you need so you can feel safe moving forward. So my resistance is telling me that I don't want to be seen as just another student. I want to stand out and my work to do so means speaking up and playing big in class contributing in ways that I'm capable of because I'm 46. In the words of the great TBM ladies, my resistance tells me to stop playing small and instead to be a giant. And when I think of it that way, My resistance feels like a level in a video game I just passed and it is fueling me to keep playing. So don't let your resistance keep you from playing dear listeners. Let it light a 📍 fire in you to win the game.
If you want to know more about this, me my work, or to work with me, click the link in the show notes to get in touch. I don't know who the great TBM ladies are. There's a link in the show notes for them too. Thank you to Dan Devin for my music, David Harbour for my artwork. I am. This age is produced by jellyfish industries.
I'm your host Molly Sider until next time, get curious about your 📍 resistance.