In this podcast episode, we dive into the theme of rediscovering oneself and the journey of healing. Diana Patton shares her personal experience of realizing that the missing piece in life was her own sense of calm, happiness, and ease. She discusses how she has transformed and now helps others do the same. The conversation delves into the idea that sometimes, the key to fulfillment is not changing external factors but rather transforming our own mindset. We also explore deep topics such as race, trauma, and the journey from performing for the ego to living in alignment with one's true self. Diana has a big event coming up in Chicago October 10-11, called All Rise Live Global Summit and there are still tickets available. Click below to snag one now!
In this podcast episode, we dive into the theme of rediscovering oneself and the journey of healing. Diana Patton shares her personal experience of realizing that the missing piece in life was her own sense of calm, happiness, and ease. She discusses how she has transformed and now helps others do the same. The conversation delves into the idea that sometimes, the key to fulfillment is not changing external factors but rather transforming our own mindset. We also explore deep topics such as race, trauma, and the journey from performing for the ego to living in alignment with one's true self.
Diana has a big event coming up in Chicago October 10-11 called All Rise Live Global Summit and there are still tickets available. Click below to snag one now!
https://allriselivesummit.com/
Want and Insightful Video? Click below!
https://www.insightfullegacy.com/
📍 📍 Do you ever feel like something is missing? Like something isn't exactly right, but you can't quite put your finger on what it is.
So you check your family, you check your house, your job, and you realize it's none of those things, but rather your own sense of calm, happiness, and ease. You realize that the only thing that's missing is you.
Good news. Dear listeners. My guest today is here to talk all about her journey of healing and rediscovering herself in recent years so that she can show up to every part of her life. Husband, kids, work, friends, all of it. With the greatest amount of her bad ass self. And how she's now helping people, just like you do the same exact thing.
Welcome to I am this age, the podcast proving it's never too late and you're never too old.
So go do that thing. You're always talking about. I'm Molly Sider a certified professional life coach speaker, creator of insightful videos, and now a grad student to become a master's in social work. Sometimes we don't need to change the tangibles. We need to change ourselves and heal our mindsets. So today's episode, we go deep. We talk about race trauma, the death of George Floyd. And how all of these things influenced my guest to go from performing in work, in relationships for the benefit of her ego. To creating a life, an absolute alignment of who 📍 she is.
Before we get started.
I want to tell you a little bit more about what insightful videos 📍 are. These are more than just a legacy video. Y'all this is a connection video. Uh, connection to yourself, your past, your future. And to your friends and your family, it is a way to reflect on all you've accomplished in your life to share your hard earned wisdom and to truly, and finally be seen in the way that you want to be seen and understood.
This 📍 is a privately produced video of you or a loved one. I interviewed by yours truly and fully produced to have forever.
Imagine recording in mid-life and having this video for the next 10 years. To hold yourself accountable to accomplish the things that you say you really want. And to be the person you say, you really want 📍 to be. Or imagine being in your mid eighties and having this special moment to reflect back on all you've accomplished and learned to be able to pass on those life lessons, to the people you love and to have them really understand who you are as a person at your core as an 📍 individual.
If this sounds of interest to you, click the link in the show notes to get in touch and to learn more. It's such an important thing.
Everyone needs an insightful video and you only have to be of the age of wisdom. And open-mindedness to have one, we will do the rest.
Okay. Now onto the 📍 episode. Hi, my name is Diana Patton and I am 55 beautiful years of age. I am the founder and CEO of the Rise with Diana and the Rise Advocates Academy, where we help corporate women.
Speak up and advocate for themselves using their authentic story. You know about that, Molly, right? Their authentic voice. A lot of them don't know that. And to help other women, mentorship, allyship, and sponsorship. I have a heart for young women. My former life, former corporate executive, a former civil rights attorney, I've done a lot in the area of mentoring and service myself.
I have my own non profit called The Head Full of Dreams, where we help fifth grade girls know how to take their dreams and make them reality. That's me.
Diana worked as a lawyer for corporate America in diversity and inclusion. She grew up with a white father and a black mother. Her father was abusive and all of these things created an environment where she never really felt like she belonged and she definitely never felt seen. And so her life's work became helping others feel like they had a place in this world. Her work at the time, felt like a way to heal some of her own trauma. That is until 2020 when George Floyd was killed and the country rose up. And Diana began to crumble.
. Tell me, what was different about the George Floyd situation than previous.
The issue was the trigger. When you grow up with adverse childhood experiences, it's not if you'll, crumble, it's when. And for me, and your audience needs to know this. And we need to dive into just briefly, I believe, adverse childhood experiences. I grew up like this. And so for me, success was my drug of choice.
It was heal thyself through success, doing, going, making people happy. Not necessarily at the sacrifice of myself. I really never was the whole self deprecating person, but I certainly loved the challenge of helping so many people overcome. Yet, I never had any help myself in therapy. Through my trauma.
And so the trigger was when my mom called me crying about George Floyd and I had nowhere to go. I had nowhere to help. I mean, I had folks calling me to lead their protest, but it wasn't like we're going to get to a resolve, right? I just felt hopeless. I felt, isolated. And the key, Marley, was the resemblance of my mom calling me.
Because of George Floyd and when she called when I got the call that my brother jumped off a bridge and took his life. So the two I didn't know from a mental health perspective were so closely aligned that was the trigger. That was the hook that really sent me down a very, very negative spiral.
For more information visit www. FEMA. gov So, yeah, that was it. And even as I speak to you today about it, there are things I need to do to calm myself to know I am here. I am present. Everything is good. And, you know, and I'm constantly reminding myself. So my work is. As you mentioned at the beginning, became my, my childhood became my work, which became my passion, which also can also, the fire that burnt inside me, which does a lot of people, can also burn you up.
And we all have to do the work, the internal work, which is why I do what I do now, to do your greatest work.
wow. So, the George Floyd situation was, it re triggered you from your brother's passing, is what you said. can you, can you tell us Maybe pinpoint a little bit deeper, like what exactly awoke in you in that
Yeah. I'll, I'll unpack that.
Yeah.
What arose in me was the injustice that I felt likely as a child of not having the tools necessary. And Yeah. The childhood I thought I had, my brother had. I felt like George Floyd reminded me of my brother. I felt like there was so, so many similarities that My brother wasn't seen and he wasn't heard and he wasn't valued and George Floyd wasn't valued and I felt like when my brother died he didn't have enough time to make up some of the wrongs he did.
So, let me back it up a little further. Growing up, my father had five older sisters and one younger brother. And when we were growing up, being of mixed race, having a black mom and a white dad, in the 70s, And, you know, late in 60s was not at all popular much to say it is now, but, you know, for, for us growing up in a small community and having an abusive father was just so hard.
And my brother really didn't have a lot of friends because as I look back on my brother's childhood, I believe he suffered from autism. He was never given an opportunity to be diagnosed. I was the next in the age to my brother. So I was the one responsible for all of my brother's homework, you know, helping him do things.
And I was resentful. I was the sister who had to take care of my brother. And so not only did I have all of these things multiplying, I had to take care of my brother too. So, you know, I'm young. I didn't know. And so I was not a nice sister, you know? And so when my brother, well, my father died early, he had a massive heart attack at 52. Before he died of that heart attack, you know, my mom and dad had a tumultuous breakup. It was the day I graduated from high school and my brother was still there with my, my father and so, my, my father didn't talk very nicely about my mom when they broke up to my brother. And so my brother always had this negative viewpoint of my mom. And so when dad died, my mom moved back into our house. And. My brother and my mom never got along. In fact, my brother tried to kill my mother. And when he tried to kill my mom, I was in law school, and I got the call that my brother did this. And it set me into this spiral because I thought when I left home, I was away from all my story, you know, I could hide, I could be away from everything.
But when that happened, it set me right back where I was before and taking care of my brother, taking care of my mom, taking care of everything. But I, but as a result of that and I never, ever any of that time, Molly, I think I one time went in for counseling. And because the counselor said I needed to do all this work, I was like, I ain't got time for that, you know, and then I left.
But my brother and my then boyfriend, they lived together, and my boyfriend was so great with my brother and helping him, and All the things I began to do with my brother, I do now with my clients, but it was helping my brother see his life as being valuable. And, but still I'm the older sister, right?
Throughout all of this, I was still the older sister and my brother got out of jail and we're trying to rehabilitate him, but it wasn't enough time. And that's when he took his life. And so George Floyd was the, it took me right back because I never, ever really. Took time to get the therapy I needed to overcome that.
That cracked open and I realized that I'm not alone in this. You know, a lot of people, as I said, they throw themselves if they come out of trauma, they throw themselves in professions that will help remedy problems, but they themselves haven't remedied themselves. And so what I started to realize.
Through that awakening and of my dark night of the soul, right? Like it was such a, it was a year of not being able to eat. My throat was like, felt like it was choked. And I know that was because I needed to be quiet. My throat shackle was really. I was shaking all the time. I was feeling, I just could not sleep.
I couldn't settle my mind. I was in fight or flight and I was, it was just nonstop for about a year and a half. I felt like the whole world was inside of my body during that whole time. And I couldn't sleep. Just calm down. And then I lost 15 pounds and I was just looking like I was just aging in front of my, you know, just this, this, it was just felt like I was just shrinking.
And, um, then I finally got the therapy I needed. Cause I was just not wondering if I was going to make it. And once I started getting the therapy and I started realizing one, I I have a lot of, to give this world, but I know I needed to do the steps of healing the heart more. That once I'm healing, as I'm healing, I'm able to do so much more and to love other people because justice does not come from hurting people.
Justice comes from love. There has to be a love narrative and that's The healing of loving myself first and loving every aspect of me in order for me to do my greatest work. And so that's, there were so many great learnings. I'm so happy that I went through that negative experience because I felt like it was exactly what I needed to birth what I'm doing now.
How did you know to start to go to therapy or what was like, 'cause you said you had never been in therapy before. Why all of a sudden have it?
well, that was because I was really ignorant in a lot of ways. I felt like I, like a lot of women and a lot of black women, and I'm not calling women and black women ignorant, I believe that we get, Caught up in certain narratives that if I show weakness or if I need this, something's wrong with me.
I can't do my work. I'm less than people might judge me. It's all these things we make up in our head. I was raised in the church. God can heal me. You know, I can do, you know, all these narratives are floating in my head. And I was like, Oh my gosh, This is not good, you know, and so my husband was like you need therapy I know when I need therapy and even when I did get therapy They were giving me medication and I was like not taking the medication Diana.
What's wrong with you? You see we all have these biases and negative viewpoints When we need the help and so I feel like I need to be humbled I needed to understand that you just can't go run it off. Like for me, it was like, Oh, I'll go for a run. Cause I could do that. Right. Or I'll do CrossFit or, you know, I'll do yoga.
Even yoga was not doing yoga. I was doing it for performance, not for the connection through the spiritual path that I needed to be on. Right. And so it's this dying to yourself. that I really needed to do. Like the patterns and the habits that I used to get me where I was at this point, which was in a, in a negative, was what I used to survive trauma. in order for me to thrive, I had to undo Some habits that I learned to get me going and a lot of it meant like this stay busy Keep going write a book, you know go win it win a race and those are good on the surface Like I think that you have to make certain that is tempered in that you're behind the scenes You're not crazy because who cares that you're wealthy if you have a jacked up nervous system, you can't even stay still How is that success? You know, how is that doing your greatest work? I mean, cause you're going to die of a heart attack or a stroke if you don't watch it, you know what I mean? Like it just doesn't make sense to me. So I said, I've never learned this quote more than I, or I should embody this quote of success is a calm nervous system. That's what I wanted. I wanted to be in my body. and feel good. Who cares that I was working on my six pack abs? but who the freak cares?
Cause I'd be behind the scenes. Like, I just felt like this is where like, Oh my gosh, I wonder how We pretend and
a lot.
you know, we pretend we don't even like our hair. We look at our photos. We go, Oh, I don't hate, I hate that. And then we wonder why our young girls have, they let, they like self worth. Well, hello, you don't even like yourself and you're a mom.
You've got three kids, but you don't even like how you look. How are we going to help our kids? And so it was, it's this, it's this learning of myself. An unexamined life is not a life worth living. And I felt like I need to examine myself very deeply to know, how am I holding myself back?
Yeah.
I doing? Yeah.
How did this. time, this like, reflective sort of quiet time. How did that affect your relationships at the time?
Well, first of all, my kids were very confused. My husband was very concerned. He'd never seen me not be able to get out of bed. And My friends became, I get very teary eyed when I talk about it because it's something that I, so beautiful that I was able to overcome that experience because I just did not know how I was going to get well and it affected everything around me. Um, I remember being on the, the mayor of our city asked me to be on the police committee to help the community And the police learn how to be together and in any other instance, of course, I would join these committees and be fine. I felt like every time I would go to the meetings, I was just sitting there.
Now granted, cause my throat, I couldn't speak. I didn't trust my voice. And so people were looking at me, are you good, Diana? Is everything okay?
Why didn't you trust your voice at the time? Sorry I didn't
I didn't know, I didn't know like what I, what was wrong with me. So I didn't know, it wasn't trusting my voice that I didn't have anything to say.
It was what's wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? And when you're constantly repeating that over and over in the back of your head, your main focus is why am I, why, why am I who I am, not what do I have to give? Right? And that's what a lot of people do in subtle ways. Mine was more in the depressive way.
Like I was, I was chronically depressed and anxious. But on that sphere of using my voice are the, what will people think of me? How, what if I say this and it's wrong? You know, me it was, I just can't even talk. I'm just going to sit here. I was blank because I was like, I don't even know. If I'm going to scream right now, you know what I mean?
There were just so many unknowns about the state of my mental health. And so that's why I wasn't speaking. Here's the thing about, I've never had a problem speaking up. I'll just say what I think, , you know, cause I'm number six of seven. Hello. I was speaking up all the time. If I didn't speak up, I wouldn't eat.
You know, this is how I was growing up, you know? And I was always defending the week. I was like, girl, come on, let's go. We got to do this.
How did your community or friendships change, if they
So they did quite a bit.
I was trying to live up to the expectations of my sisters.
Mm hmm.
I learned that
What were their expectations?
I just think I was never, I was always annoying. I feel like. There was a sense of I wasn't enough. I was always doing too much. I felt like we just weren't friends and I wanted them to be my friends in a way.
And, because I was number six and so that youngest child syndrome, like I felt like I was constantly trying to get approval. Um, be seen. Oh,
Hello.
I mean, hell no. Hell the freakin hello. So when I went through this experience, I began to look at life so differently. The first thing I did was I knew I needed to say no to certain relationships. Friendships I had to look at differently.
I had to stop going to certain places because they weren't feeding me well, spiritually and mentally. I felt like there were certain, ego driven things that I was doing that were all about serving my ego. There were so many things that I realized I have a mission and a vision of helping women that maybe know like how best to help them.
So everything changed. I also feel like I, you know, after I got healthy, I started to put on weight and I thought, is this menopause or what the hell is this? You know, like it was like, I was like, I started to eat, like I was so restrictive in my eating because of, I felt like, like my kids were like, Oh mom, you're eating a cookie.
Like I would never do that, you know, or just enjoy food. I was so disciplined in so many areas because I felt like if I controlled that. I could control me, like I control, there were just so many factors that I began to examine and realize is this healthy? I began to do my own work. Is this assessment, like is this healthy?
Is it, is it something that I've learned to cope? What, why do I do that? And is it necessary? Is this breeding beautiful life in you? And so I looked at everything that way. Gave myself permission to really be a, have a full life. Cause I didn't know what that full life really meant.
So Molly, as I, as I talked to you about it, I go, wow, you know, it's such a beautiful thing to live with gratitude, to live with hope. And, uh, and that's the biggest thing.
I'm just really curious, like, how did, the intersection of like the history of your life and where you were now and who you wanted to be, and then also your community and your friendships and the blowing up of the Black Lives Matter movement, like, how did did race, can we talk a little bit more about that?
Like how it affected friendships and community?
well, for me growing up, I never was truly accepted from black people or white people. Let's start there.
Yeah.
So I had to grow my own identity. I felt any areas of pointing out someone was less than or better than be solely because of the race. I didn't like that narrative.
Whether you were saying, black people were saying, white people shut up. You can't speak, you're a Karen. I don't buy into that. The reason is, is because hate can't drown out hate. All right, hate can't drown out hate. Only love can do that, that I am that person, right? So I never really liked that. I also didn't like the fact that don't you realize that there is systemic racism?
You need to get educated. People have biases. And so you had people which speak out from their pain. What doesn't matter what color you are, the people you didn't hear speak out even where my Asian brothers and sisters, you never really heard the Asian voice, but they went through so much discrimination.
I never wanted to marry a white man. You hear me? And out of the six girls, the person that got married to a white man was me.
And I believe that God had a bigger picture because he wanted me, through my work, to realize that First of all, the healing that needed to happen between me and white men, because I was on an attack to attack every single white man in the world. You know, I was just like, so gangster, like, ah, but then every single person in corporate America that I had as mentors were white men.
Go figure my husband, white man. So for me, the lens by which I saw people was twofold. Number one, how do I like this part of me? That is white. that is just merely a construct of human existence. But then how do I look at the people who are spewing out from their human existent constructs and find a way to Love them because they know not what they do, right?
They haven't done examining their lives. They haven't begun to see their own biases. Some will never be willing to. And so as a result of that, it informed my work as an inclusion and equity deliverer of messaging. And so I would know why there are certain white people who will never buy into this narrative because.
They heard the Black Lives Matter movement calling white people, which is short of what they did during the Black Panthers and white devils, right? Like, you know, the civil rights movement and during that, because there was a different split, it wasn't all black people who were doing that, you know, there was just certain, sections of that movement doing that and the same narrative came through on Black Lives Matter.
So yes, did my relationships change? Yes, they changed because I really knew, like, I need to hold space when I have the energy to for these kinds of narratives. That doesn't matter what color you are, you see? Because it doesn't, I don't sit there and go, Oh, I'm with these people because they're white. I'm with these people because they're black.
I'm with these people because they're sexual orientation. I'm of the human experience. If you and I can connect with really understanding love, we can have a really close relationship. Otherwise, I don't really allow that in my home. I don't allow it in my space. I have to teach it. You see, this is what I do at work.
So I hold my space very close. And that's for my mental health as well. Yeah.
Yeah. Thank you for
Hopefully that answered it. Cause that's a lot.
You said you were always, before you were always moving and you were an athlete and you were working really hard and you were writing books and so you were kind of running away from your emotions.
How are you more still now?
Ah, Molly, why are you trying to call me out?
Well, it's funny because my next question, my next question is, how often do you fall into those old patterns and habits? And what do you do when you fall into
it's a daily practice. Okay, mama? It is a daily surrender.
Yeah, it's not linear.
surrender. This is not, Ooh, I'm good now. No girl. I spent the first part of my entire human experience underneath that methodology and it served me well. It got me promoted. It got me, you know, seen, it got me popular in this Toledo community.
People are like, you want something done? You call Diana. So it is a persistent. arduous daily practice of laying down that life. How do I take what I did to get things done? and have it be more of a law of attraction mentality. I want to learn what it means to have energy that attracts things into my life. I don't believe that I have to work so hard. I don't believe that I have to use these things that I used before. So I have a daily practice and I'm telling you cause I am disciplined and I I believe that if I can take all of that energy I put into doing it this way, I can take all of my energy and putting it this way.
So I live with possibility. I live with, Oh my gosh, what miracle is going to happen today? I'm consistently living with this vision that I have with my life. And that I don't have to like bend the midnight oil, reading and even though that's hard because I love my work. So it's shutting it off because I will work. I have learned to like go for a run, but it doesn't have to be like at a certain time. You know, I've tried to walk and I learned how to be more intentional in yoga, not for the pose.
For the breath. These are little things that I've learned that I try to teach now, like in my academy, because I've really learned that because most of the people that are like, we're going to get it done. But how can you transform that and be more live with the law of attraction and have great energy and great stamina and great you know, the feelings of, of hope and living with it, not just for the appearance of it, but the actual living it.
That's what I do every day, but it's hard.
it's like the difference of constantly striving and running after something versus doing something because it's in alignment with who you are at your core and not because somebody told you that you're supposed to want that. And that that's really the law of attraction, that like staying centered.
That's how it comes to you is like, no, this is actually who I am. I'm not running after and chasing after something that isn't really meant for me. Right. It sounds like that's the difference. Is that
That's the difference. So when I'm constantly putting my hands together, it is a reminder to me that I'm good. I'm centered. I'm whole. am, And I want, you know, like the people that I'm around to feel that, don't get me wrong, but there's some times when I'm like going into circumstances.
And if I feel, off centered, then I have to like, go, okay, what, what are we doing here? Where do you. What are you holding on to? What are you trying to perform? What are you trying to do that's not right? And so I feel that in my body and then I have to go, okay, it's not necessarily a bad thing.
It could be something you memorized. It could be something that you see as a threat, but is not a threat. These are, this is practice, you know what I mean? Like, because there's a lot of, because I spend a lot of time with fifth graders and, and helping them and helping them know this in their bodies and to assess themselves.
Some things are real threats. Some things, you know, but oftentimes we don't have people chasing us, you know, with guns and stuff like that. Sometimes that's what's happening in America today, but nine times out of 10, we don't I, I used to live in that, you know, constant. And so now I don't, I don't have to be that way.
Okay, but Diana is also planning an event in Chicago in the beginning of October, it's coming right up. And given that event planning, especially something like this is a huge job. I wanted to know more about the event and how Diana keeps her nervous system feeling calm and safe while working on such a huge project.
So this event, it's called the all rise live global summit. And it is an on ramp to the big goal of getting women a hundred thousand through the rise advocates Academy. The rise advocates Academy is if you listen to the first 40 minutes of this podcast, You would know what Diana's teaching, right?
You would know that Diana teaches you how to go into difficult circumstances, yet feel a sense of calm, but speak my truth to learn the tools, habits, strategies necessary to do that. So the all rise live global summit will be October 10th through the 11th in Chicago and this is a two day summit, but its whole goal is to really help these corporate women who are in like middle management and above who are similar to me. They, if, if they're listening, a lot of the women, I think that would be attracted to this, they're probably listening to this and going, man, she sounds like me.
Yup. That's you girl. Come on to the conference because then I'm going to help you get what you need in corporate America. A lot of us corporate women are needing to say things like, in order for me to operate well in this position, this is what I need. Period.
Yeah,
need to get paid more. I need to have an at home.
I need to only work 20 hours. I have kids. I have this. And then say it. And I want to give you the tools to do that. And that's what the All Rise, legal pun, All Rise, because I'm an attorney, All Rise, Global Summit. You're going to learn to speak up. You're going to learn to have the habits necessary for you to stay the course with your mental and physical health.
You're going to be learning to mentor and ally with, sponsor, young people, other people. Yeah. Yeah.
not speaking up enough at home. You might not be, it's all connected, right? How we show up one, one place is usually how we show up everywhere.
Yes.
Now as the time when I asked Diana to reintroduce herself without using titles, like lawyer, moms, CEO, et cetera, because we are not our successes, our failures, our titles, our hobbies, our relationship statuses. That's not who we are. Those are things that we have. Those are experiences that we've had.
We are why we chose those things. We are what we've learned from those things and how we've applied our learning to our life. Now, how we decide to consciously show up next time, what we want next time to be that's who we are. So here's what Diana said.
stuff?
Connect with my spiritual path. I love to live life. I love to smile often. I love to make other people know that they are whole and complete. You know, I love really good coffee. It makes me happy. Um, no sugar, no cream. I feel like, and I love to stay very grounded and connected in my soul.
I am confident that I'm here during this time on the earth to do things that are really special for people. To let them know that they are here for the very same reason, and for them to, \ open that up
well, I'm so glad to know you, Diana. And I'm so glad that you
📍 I'm so glad to know you. Thank you for having me.
If anyone is interested in attending, Diana's all rise summit in Chicago, October 10th and 11th.
Click the link in the show notes to sign up for that. It's surely going to be incredible. I'm going to try to make it myself. If you love this episode or any other episodes, please share it with one or two other people who you think might also enjoy and benefit. The more we grow. The more we can 📍 help you grow. Thank you to Dan Davin for my music, David Harbour for the artwork I am.
This age is produced by jellyfish industries. I'm your host Molly cider
until next time, stay curious. Y'all.