Today's episode with Junie Moon, a midlife love and relationship coach, is about leaving a dysfunctional marriage and losing over 50 pounds. Junie shares her personal journey of healing past wounds, owning her truth, and creating a life she loves. She offers valuable insights and tips for anyone struggling with love and relationships in midlife, including how to let go of the past, honor your truth, and open yourself up to new possibilities. Whether you're looking for inspiration to make a change or simply want to hear a powerful story of transformation, this episode is a must-listen. So tune in and discover what's possible when you own your truth and create the life you truly want. Full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Today's episode with Junie Moon, a midlife love and relationship coach, is about leaving a dysfunctional marriage and losing over 50 pounds. Junie shares her personal journey of healing past wounds, owning her truth, and creating a life she loves. She offers valuable insights and tips for anyone struggling with love and relationships in midlife, including how to let go of the past, honor your truth, and open yourself up to new possibilities. Whether you're looking for inspiration to make a change or simply want to hear a powerful story of transformation, this episode is a must-listen. So tune in and discover what's possible when you own your truth and create the life you truly want.
Junie Moon's Links:
https://midlifeloveoutloud.com/
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Full transcription is available at:
Are you struggling to know when to leave an unfulfilling relationship? Are you scared you might never find a better one? Are you worried you're too old to find love? You are not alone, your fears are 📍 normal, and you have come to the right podcast episode.
Welcome to I Am This Age, proof you're never too old, it's never too late, so go do that thing you're always talking about. I'm Molly Sider, a certified professional life coach and speaker, and my guest today is a midlife love and relationship coach.
International award winning speaker, best selling author and podcast host. And she is here today sharing her own experience of leaving her
📍 marriage and the losing and keeping off 50 pounds she had gained during that relationship.
She explains how it was all related, and how she knew when it was the right time to move on, and how you might too. If you're someone in midlife who is struggling with love and relationships, or if you know someone who is, my guest and I are here to help. I have a couple of 📍 client openings for November, and with the holidays coming up, I can't think of a more important time to get the support you need.
Click the link in the show notes to schedule a free discovery call with me. Now, please enjoy today's guest, Ms. Junie Moon. Such a fun name to say.
I am Junie Moon, uh, born June Schreiber, transformed into Junie Moon. I am a love coach. I help women in the second half of life. Discover what's possible and own it and create it and specifically around love and relationships I help them heal the past let go of the past honor the past and then if they choose to open to a Relationship I give them some hot dating strategies and supporting them in their relationships when they take off
So fun. How old are you?
It is fun. Oh yes, the age thing. So I'm turning 60 in February.
When Junie was in her 40s, she was in a dysfunctional marriage, and her weight was 200 pounds. At 5'3 that was an all time high for Junie.
I always say if I was just a few inches taller, the weight would have looked a lot better. But you know, hey, it's still, it was still a lot of, a lot of weight on my body.
it shows up faster for us shorties.
Um, I imagine you tried like a lot of different types of diets that didn't work. Is that right?
Yeah, I did what most of us do, um, I've done a bunch of different diets. I went on the, I'm gonna just work out, you know, every day. I did Overeaters Anonymous, which is a 12 step group, which did help me a lot, understand a lot about what was between my ears. And yeah, I took on a belief that I had a food problem, that I was a food addict, and that...
Yeah, that's what I took on as a belief.
Hmm.
Seemed kind of what was there, you know, couldn't stop eating, would binge eat, hide my food, take it out of the garbage. I mean, this is what like food addicts are known to do. It's like, okay, I've eaten too many of the chips. Let me just throw them in the garbage and then like an hour later, like, I want my chips.
It was dysfunctional and crazy. But it wasn't necessarily the true reality of what was going on.
I think a lot of us can relate to this. We compare ourselves to what we're fed in the media, and if we don't look like that, we think there's something wrong with us. We think we're failures, and that thought spills over into so many other beliefs about ourselves, like the one about how no one will ever love us at this weight.
This is also the problem with ageism, but more on that later.
Yeah. With the
Belief of what's wrong with me, why can't I do it? I, you know, the whole compare and despair of others and how they look and how I look. And it was very painful as, you know, we all know as women in this culture, um, we've all been touched by it and are continually shown how we're supposed to look and how supposed to, we're supposed to be.
And things are changing, which is very exciting.
So you had, low self esteem, you didn't really believe in your voice. Did the low self esteem come because of the weight or did the weight come because of the low self esteem or
That's a really good question. I don't have the answer to that. So let me just kind of riff on that a little bit. And you did mention my voice. Um, so let me say that, you know, that was one of the pieces to the puzzle, which was, I wasn't expressing myself, honestly. I was in an unhealthy marriage. And I really didn't have my voice to speak up and share my opinions.
It was too uncomfortable. And we could talk about that later, uh, since you mentioned the voice thing. So I was uncomfortable with my own truth and my, yeah, I, I really had that low self esteem. And yet when I think about when I was a little girl, I don't remember having low self esteem. I remember just being free and alive and joyful.
And then life happened and I got picked on and then my dad died and I became very vulnerable. Uh, so I think it's a a mixture of the beginning of my journey when I was. A 9 and 10 and people's, you know, kids started giving me the message of something was wrong with you, you're, you know, you're, you're not worthy or whatever.
I'm sure that was a big piece of the wiring of, Oh, something's wrong with me and I'm not good enough. So there and then. The other piece of it is my dad's death because that was a huge abandonment. Uh, you know, he was my everything and that vulnerability. So as I moved through relationships, it wasn't, it was a combination of low self esteem, not speaking up and other things, but it was also the deep fear of being alone.
The deep fear of if I speak up, if I rock the boat, if I share my truth, then we're going to have some, some huge challenges in our marriage. He was a spicy is a spicy, spicy guy that scared me. And so I did eat a lot of food that that food was my go to food was my friends.
When did you realize that the problem wasn't necessarily about food?
Well, I do have to, you know, again, give credit to Overeaters Anonymous, OA, that's based on 12 Steps, because when I hit the 200 pounds and I was so miserable, I had already gone to OA years before, lost all the weight, thought I had it done, but I was like, I came back, you know, begging for help. I'll do anything.
And, and, Um, that was when I, when I really started to understand more of the impact of my beliefs and how I was doing my life, my relationships, my communication, what's mine, what's theirs when it comes to responsibility. That was the beginning. However, to me, I always called the 13th step. The 13th step was when I discovered shadow work, which is the body of work that I do now.
For those of you who have never heard of it, here is the definition of shadow as found in the shadow workshop at To Be Magnetic, a workshop I'm currently in. Shadow is qualities within yourself that you've deemed as unlovable due to the pain and shame you've experienced or witnessed.
You've disowned these aspects of yourselves and placed them in your quote, shadow. This creates low self worth on a subconscious level. Anytime you're triggered in your daily life, there's shadow there. And it's often from childhood, although not always. At the root of everyone's shadow is guilt, shame, or inferiority.
Experiencing or witnessing any pain, trauma, or shame is what creates a shadow aspect. And life's triggers are when they show up.
So while away helped me understand and have some new conscious tools, shadow work helped you realize that 95 percent of our brain is unconscious and has soaked up like a sponge when we were Growing up and beyond these beliefs about how to how to be in the world and what we shouldn't be like The shadow being that I better not be like that because people won't like me I better not speak up because people think I'm a know it all or I'm too much or you know whatever it is and so when I discovered shadow work and I started realizing that The food was a symptom To a much larger problem, which was this deep belief of I'm not good enough Who do you think you are to be bubbly shiny?
Junie moon and a lot of other things that I needed to uncover I lost the weight not because of a diet and I have not kept the weight off because of a diet I have shifted and transformed those unconscious beliefs so that I can feel worthy of a life of health and wellness and clarity and beauty.
I choose differently because, and so I don't have to eat over my feelings. The feelings used to terrorize me. I was so scared of feeling. And now, I, I always, uh, warn people when we go out. Kind of joke, you know tongue in cheek here that i'll cry anywhere I mean, I you know, I speak up. I I just am me and i'm relaxed being me And that's what shadow work did so that's When everything changed for me and that's why I do the work I do now because we're all walking machines at the mercy of this wiring of all the Experiences that laid down these really painful beliefs and now we're trying to make sure we don't get hurt again And then we have behaviors like overeating over drinking overworking.
Whatever it is And it just doesn't have to be that way.
Yeah.
Can you maybe describe like, what was like the low point and how, what were the first steps you took, to get yourself out of that?
Yeah, well, the low point, and this was like, huge, ouch, low point was when I was in the 190s. And We decided to buy an RV, a little RV, to do some traveling. It was my husband at the time and my son at the time. I'm not gonna do the math, but he was on the younger side and less than nine I can do that because I knew where we were living.
And we got this RV and the person we bought the RV from had packed or stocked, stocked up the freezer, the refrigerator, in the RV filled with candy. And here I am trying to put my kids to sleep. And I just, I was getting so anxious because I couldn't wait to get out to the RV and get my hit, to get my fix.
And I realized I couldn't be present with my kid. I wasn't present for my life. I was in pain, physical pain because my body was holding so much weight. That was the lowest. And we were going on a trip and I made a decision, a solid decision that when we come back, I'm going into Overeaders Anonymous and that's when it all started.
Overeaders Anonymous led me to Shadow Work and in Shadow Work, in the body of work that I'm trained in, it's the original Shadow Work trademarked body of work where there are special processes that help you get facilitated In a way that you can see things that you can't see on your own because it's in shadow.
And I just started to see the depth of my pain, the depth of my aloneness. I remember the first, uh, experience I had with Shadow Work was around this, this moment that happened with my dad, where I fell short in his eyes. My dad was always like, I'm the apple of his eye, but I remember this one moment in my life real quickly.
Time in a bottle, Jim Croce, great song. And back then you couldn't just, you know, Google Jim Croce, I think it's Jim Croce, right?
Yes, Time in a Bottle is, in fact, a Jim Croce song.
Anyway, Time in a Bottle. It's a great song. If I can spend time in a bottle. And I'd heard it in a movie and I was like, oh my god, that's so great. And it came on the radio. And I was like, oh my god, there it is. And my brother, being my brother, Turned the channel and it was gone and I said shit I hope that was okay And just as I was cursing my dad walked by and he looked at me and he said is that how I raised you and my?
Heart sunk in that moment. I felt the loss of my dad's love So what was one of the first shadow work processes was well, you know There's a certain way to get to it, but ultimately it was this moment That defined me. That unless I'm perfect, unless I'm on top of everything, I will lose love. That's the message I got.
And so when I did that process, I was able to give myself love and a shift in perspective. That nothing has ever come close to in any of other, any of the other modalities. And that began my journey. I started studying shadow work. I had my own, people were facilitating me and I started diving deep into this work and then chose to, to do it as well.
And the weight came off, by the way, because I started being really honest with myself and my self care and my self love with the shadow work and all the different pieces to that puzzle as I healed, as I went little bit by little bit by little bit, and I pulled out the weeds, so to speak, in my unconscious mind.
I just wanted a different garden. I wanted to feel differently and be differently and food wasn't something that I wanted to do anymore. To me, that was. That was an old story, an old way of being, and it wasn't my life anymore, and I was different, and I am different, completely different.
Yeah. And of course you eventually left that marriage, but I'm so curious, like what was happening within your relationship? Was your husband noticing this change and how was that you know, affecting your relationship while you were still married?
That is a good question to give to him. Were you noticing her changes? That's the, I would, I never asked that question to him, so I don't have that answer. I'm sure he noticed my body changing for sure, but did he change, did he like acknowledge that, wow, she's starting to, Offer more opinions and say, hey, we need to talk more.
I mean, he, he obviously was seeing shifts because I was shifting. So things in our marriage, I mean, there was a lot of beauty in our marriage. We were together for 20 years for a reason. However, as I started to grow and heal and put on new glasses, like to be able to see things differently. I was seeing things very clearly and I wanted things to shift and heal and he wasn't ready to go for the ride You know, I mean, we're friends now and at the time it was so painful when ultimately I said I'm out of here, you know After a few years of saying this isn't working.
We need to get some help. We need to have better communication I'm feeling this I'm experiencing this But he stayed the same. He wasn't ready or willing to lean in to anything different, which happens, which is sad. And I get gave it all like I had in me and my son was suffering too. And that's another long story.
But my son was really suffering with the dynamic between him and my ex and it was just too unhealthy. And uh, and you know, if, I think it was like three years later after the marriage my ex-husband thanked me. He said he didn't have it in him to do the work, and it's been a blessing for him, and I was the strong one and, you know, and he continued, continued to do his, his journey in his way, and he's healed a lot too.
So the demise was because we were in different places. And I remember when we went to couples counseling talking about moments, we, you know, he begged me for counseling after years of me begging for help. I was like, I didn't want to do it. Actually. My therapist said, you gotta do it. Otherwise there's always going to be a part of you.
That's going to wonder. I was like, so we went and it didn't. And she also said, it's not going to take long. Trust. Trust me, it's, it's not going to get, take long. And within a few sessions she was absolutely right because there was this moment when he was in his rage because he had some huge anger issues and the therapist put a mirror on him so to speak and said, you know, hey, look what's going on here.
And He dropped into for the first time acknowledging. Wow. Yeah, I really am in my anger and then she started Helping him with it and I just sat there and I looked and I was like how the friggin law How long is this gonna be? How long is this gonna take? He's just starting and I knew how intensely wired he was
hmm.
and Yeah, it in that moment.
I was like I can't sign up for this I cannot sign up for this and I choose differently for my life and for my son because my, my, my husband was, was kind of a piece of work with my son.
Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. And I I was wondering that because, you know, a lot of times when we do this type of work, the people who are used to us being a certain way, have a really hard time watching us change and accepting our change, and will at least in my experience will really resist it and I've experienced having friends say some mean things to me about my own personal growth and I have to remember and remind myself this is not about me.
Yeah, you've done the worst work so you can, you know that it's not about you. And we've changed the rules up. I mean, I say this to my clients all the time when they come to me with this very thing. They're like, my friends are saying certain things, they're acting in certain ways, they're not really respecting boundaries.
So my clients are doing the work. They're able to, to share differently, more consciously and cleanly, as I would say, um, with their friends. But the friend, the friends haven't. Taken the journey and they don't know how to do this and it's it's uncomfortable You know, it's like being with people that are like drinkers I really suck at examples, but I think this is a good one where let's just say you're all drinking You're all drinking buddies.
And then suddenly you're the one that's clean. You're the one that doesn't want to drink You may not want to go out with them as much They're going to feel that loss. They might have to look at their own stuff because like, wow, you know, he's clean and moving on or she's clean and she's moving on and you know, I'm still a mess or whatever.
And it, and it has them sometimes really look at their own stuff or not, and it's uncomfortable for them. So they come out sideways and judge us or disappear. And that's where. It can be a little bit, a little bit more of a quiet, lonely road for the people like us that do continue to grow and dive in.
However, it's a richer experience because then the people that you then attract, and that's why I do the work I do, you're going to attract a very different type of partner. You're going to attract a very different type of group of friends because you're riding a different consciousness, a different level of understanding and being in this world.
Yes. That was a great analogy.
Thank you.
And yes, that was such an important part. , the, you know, living such a richer life, but it is really hard when you're the one doing the work and it can feel really lonely. And, um, I think, you know, a lot of times you may feel like you want to abort because it, it can get really uncomfortable.
Oh yeah, oh yeah. And there are those moments, I really want to, you know, be honest here too, that there are moments that are really tough and and I, you know, I had one recently, you know, my dog died and it was like heart, Breaking, heart wrenching, grief just is like so intense, it brings up all the grief.
And I remember I was driving and I was feeling a lot of emotion and I was driving by 7 11 and this voice in my head was like, when was the last time you had a Coke and a brownie? I mean, seriously, that voice was there. Now, I will allow myself to have a soda every once in a while, allow myself to have a brownie once in a while, but I will not eat it.
When I'm upset and I will not do it to cover up emotions. And I, I, it's a slipper. It's like, I will choose to enjoy, but I will not mask my feelings. And it was tough. It, I really had to lean into all my tools and my friends and my colleagues. So, you know, building these muscles over time. It helps, and there are those moments when we really need to lean in to what we know.
Yeah.
personal growth work can be very challenging. Confronting these things can feel really hard.
However, it's so much harder not knowing this stuff. It's so much harder living a life blind to All that's controlling us and having these painful relationships, that's hard. And so when people say to me, Oh, shadow work sounds a little scary or, you know, wow, you know, I have to confront these things. This sounds really painful.
It's like, well, how's your life? You know, how is it when somebody disrespects you or you disrespect yourself? I mean, that's the thing where it's like, I was at that that juncture of, do I want to. Do I just stay in this place of eating, binging, feeling like crap, being in a dysfunctional marriage or do I have the courage to say, I'm going to do something differently?
And it does take courage. It takes a lot of courage to shake things up, to say, okay, I want something different and to step into the mystery. Our bodies do not like mystery. We do not like not knowing what's coming. That's survival. However, in our conscious adult self, we can choose to go, okay, I don't know what's coming, but I see what I have and I ain't liking it.
So I'm going to step into the fire and I can stair step it. I don't have to jump off a cliff. I can do it one step at a time. So I really wanted to put that out there because people come to me and yeah, it takes a lot of frigging courage to, to say, I want something different and better. I want to open up my heart again and have love again and have a companion again.
It takes a lot of courage, however, we don't want to do it the same way we've done it in the past. We want to do it in a way that we can really attract someone that can meet us and hold us and have that deep partnership. So yeah, hard both sides, but I choose to step into the mystery and support others so that we can have extraordinary lives and live the life we're meant to live on this planet.
Yeah, I completely
agree.
horse. Yes! Hahaha! Hahaha!
And I, and I agree. And I also think you know, you were talking about, we don't like the feeling of not knowing, um, because we, you know, we all want to be in control somehow. We want to like understand and be able to protect the future and have some sort of control over it.
And obviously we don't have control over any of the future, but what we do have control over is like how we understand ourselves and how we react and respond to the world. And so for those people who are like, gripping or grasping to control, this is the only thing that you could, have some sort of control over doing this work and learning about yourself and learning how you've been showing up in the past.
What you like about that and what you don't like about that and how you'd rather show up in the future, like, that's what you have control over.
Yeah, we have control over a lot more than we think.
So
It took a lot of courage to leave your marriage, was there any, um, ha, ha, ha, mm,
I'm sure there was, I'm sure there was because I didn't have a job. My husband at the time didn't want to do 50 50, uh, taking care of the kid. He wanted to do his own thing. And so there was a lot of vulnerability and i'm sure there were Many moments of how am I going to make this work?
And where am I headed? But I was a little uh naive i'll say Uh, let me start by saying I think the desire and the commitment and the excitement Excitement about starting over and making that decision was more present for me than the fear my what's next for me My I'm out of here and I'm so proud of myself and I can have the life that I want was more Alive for me than the oh my god.
How am I gonna make this work? However, then soon after When I started to really experience outside the marriage and we, you know, worked out our numbers and money, I had no idea how much things cost. And that was a painful reality. I had set myself up for a very vulnerable situation financially, and that's what scared me.
And being alone, uh, I kind of jumped right into another relationship pretty soon after, like really soon after, which is what a lot of people do. It's kind of funny cause I usually say, get yourself clear, get yourself grounded before you do that, do the healing work. Uh, however I did. And to be really honest, it's what I based my work on next level love.
He was, I say was, cause he's no longer on the planet, but he was thank you. He was one of the most amazing men I've ever experienced. And to have such a beautiful partnership and it had its rockiness because I was still dealing with my son and dealing with my ex and all that stuff. However so the, the aloneness really wasn't.
Something up for me, but there was the fear of how am I going to make ends meet, and just to, be full, fully clear, the man that I did start to go out with pretty soon after the gate, We were together four and a half years, and we, we did end it, and we continued to be such loving, dear friends forever until he died, so I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't misrepresenting.
I'm really sorry to hear about him. But it sounds like you had a really, really fulfilling eye opening relationship.
Ah,
That sounds so cool.
it was the first time that I got to experience what healthy partnership can look like. How two people can love each other and create such a sacred. space, a bubble, this place where you can relax and just be yourself. It was beautiful and you know, we had our moments, we had our things like all relationships too, and we did everything with love, and that.
Allowed me to see that all the work that I had done because I did a lot of the work while I was in the Relationship to clean up. So when I say to people get you know, get your ducks in in a row and get clear we all have our journey. I had done a lot of work to get there and I did and I continued through the last, 12, 13 years to keep refining and keep getting better, more healed, more aligned, so that I can continually have next level love in the way that's so authentic.
And I don't have to make believe. I don't have to jump through hoops. I just am me.
Yeah. And getting all of your ducks in a row too, like you'll never have it all figured out. Like you don't have to be completely healed to have, real love and connection with somebody. But also, I think like really love and relationships will really bring to the surface what still needs healing and attention.
That's why I love relationships. I mean, I love personal growth work, I love growing, I love expanding, and I truly believe that relationships not only are so special, I believe we're here on this planet to love, and relationships are the most powerful, uh, container to do the healing work. We're going to poke each other's buttons and we're going to be faced with stuff and if it's a good healthy partnership, you get to grow and that is so special.
And that's why, and yes, to what you said about the ducks, you know, when do you ever see ducks in a row? I mean, whatever. But, you know, one of the sayings in OA is progress, not perfection. We are not perfect human beings. And so we need to continue to. Just love ourselves the way we are, continue to grow and, and be the best version of ourselves that we can.
And if we choose to partner with somebody. Dance that dance of imperfection and love loving each other as is while we support each other to hopefully rise up into even a higher, greatest expression.
Okay, but the big question we're all here for is, how do you know when it's time to leave a relationship?
I think we all want to know that answer. I don't really, and I don't mean that even in a funny way. I, we, that is such a huge question that it, how do we know?
How have you known?
You know, I hear so often, Oh my God, I stayed too long.
Well, they stayed as long as they needed to until they figured out it was time, you know, or they left too soon. And that's the biggest problem I see right now with dating is, there are good components and then something happens and boom, they're out of there. It's like, well, wait a second.
If there were really good components. Maybe there's, there's some, um, healing and, and you can work it through. I mean, relationships well, I I would start it with are you happy? Is this working for you? How is this feeling? How do you want it to be? Is that possible and to start there? Because if you're finding yourself in a place where it's like this is painful.
This isn't working. I'm not being treated Well, i'm being abused that whatever is going on if you're in a relationship And you're going should I stay or should I go? Start asking yourself what's going on and do the work get the support so you can get some clarity because we go back to sleep. Oh, it's not, you know, I remember this with my therapist, you know, we would have something happen and then it'd be gone and it'd be like, la, la, la, oh, things are great.
You know, six months later, boom, you know, and, and it took me a while to realize that I was just micromanaging everything to even get those six months.
This is a tricky question, especially if no one in the relationship has crossed any obvious boundaries. If there's still love and respect for one another, and it still doesn't seem to work, that's when the real work comes in.
And the older we get, the harder it can be to believe that there could be a https: otter. ai In our future, that better serves us than the one that we're in. All of these factors often keep us stuck and settling for less than what we need and desire. So what do we do? I'm learning along with everyone else, but here is what I've learned so far.
First, we are very quick to judge our partners, but it's just as important to ask yourself if you've been showing up to the relationship in a way that you're proud of.
Are you showing up to the relationship in the same capacity you're asking of your partner? In other words, how are you contributing to your own relationship circumstances?
There is a large cost to having a relationship that works for both people. Do you believe that you fully paid the cost that the kind of relationship you're asking for requires? Have you invested in your relationship fully or have you been holding back for fear of rejection or Wasting time you could be investing in other things Remember investing in anything is risky.
Are you willing to take that risk? Look, no one is going to show up perfectly, and that is a hard pill to swallow for some of us. But if you don't believe you've fully invested in the cost of the kind of relationship you're asking for, then perhaps there's still healing to do, as Juni suggests. But, if you believe you've asked for what you need, invested all you can afford, and you're still not getting what you desire, it might be time to go.
It is incredibly brave, maybe one of the bravest things, to leave a partner you still love who can't meet your needs. And to do so, we need to believe that we are worthy of a greater connection.
If we believe something greater is not possible for us, then that will be our truth. We must believe deeply in our self worth to walk away from someone we love. We also have to have trust in ourselves that we can hold and handle any emotion.
Let me be clear, walking away from someone for a greater connection may lead to a greater connection with someone else, but it will undoubtedly lead to a greater connection with yourself and your self worth. okay, back to what it took for Junie to leave her marriage.
Things were already really bad with us. I was already Moving toward the this I'm done And we had multiple issues with my son where I was like, we need help. I was like really fighting for us and fighting to get help. And I literally said these words, I swear to you, if there was a fly on the wall and I took that fly and I had it tell you right now what I said, I know I said this.
I was like, does it take me leaving you for you to realize we have a problem? I remember where I was standing. I remember where he was standing. Sitting or standing and he was like, if that's what it takes, you know, so I was moving toward it getting the support, getting stronger and clearer. And then there was just this one thing that happened with my son.
And in that moment I was like, we're done. My son's at risk. I'm done with this. I'm clear. And I went to see a lawyer and the rest is history.
Wow. Thanks for sharing that.
Here's something I have to remind myself of often. I see so many people who panic when they're not in a long term relationship by a certain age. Now, obviously, if you're a woman who wants to have children, this is a legitimate concern for obvious biological reasons. But I often hear and see people who are worried that once they reach a certain age, a loving and fulfilling partner is no longer possible for them.
I especially see and hear this from people who are in unhappy marriages. So what I often remind myself and the people I hear this from is this. For most people, the desire to have love in the form of romantic relationships never goes away. The relationship might look different, and we for sure will look different than in our relationships of younger years, but the desire to be seen, respected, and loved by another person never goes away.
And that means that dating, working on relationships, and working on ourselves within relationships Also never stops until the end of a hopefully very long life. So if you're worried that you're too old to find what you're looking for, whether or not you've been married before you have kids, whatever your situation, please remember that the desire and need for real love Never goes away, regardless of your age.
If you are scared that you're too old to find love, please hear me when I say you are not. There is a never ending roster of people feeling how you're feeling and looking for real and loving connections just like you.
What I'll offer to you is that I've had so many clients in their fifties and sixties and seventies find great love. So, it's so there so doable, and we just need to get our heads straight, and shine our light, know our worth it's an inside job, the happiness thing, and I, I work with my clients to say, hey, we need to help you love your inner soulmate.
You want your soulmate? You need to connect and love you. First because if we, you know, I had this one client just real quickly. let's call her Jane Jane came to me and she was just like no one's ever loved me. They tell me they love me You know, they they make believe they give me flowers. They do all these things for me, but no one's ever really loved me And so as we were working and pretty soon out the gate, we were doing this, you know, these processes and she had this huge aha, which was she wasn't able to really believe them.
She thought they were lying to her and taking advantage of her because she didn't believe she was lovable. She had had all these experiences in her life that gave her that belief that no one's going to love you the way you are. You're overweight. You're not lovable. You're not good enough. So here comes whoever going, Oh my God, Jane, I love you.
I think you're amazing. And she's going to be like, what do you, what do you want for me? Cause she couldn't take it in. So we need to start with loving ourself first and loving connection. As you said, we all want it. We need it. We're wired for it. And I, and I truly believe it's our birthright. We come out of that womb connecting to our mom, mom connecting to us, the hormones going, I mean, this is,
part of our humanity is love and connection and fear robs us from it and fear also Protects us from getting hurt, you know So we need to really see more clearly around this and so for people that are over 40 That maybe you're bumping up against. Oh my gosh The biological clock or oh my god 50 60s. I'm going to be alone There's nobody to travel with all of that fear is going to get in the way of you having a magnificent life So what I always invite people to do is have a magnificent life Loving yourself honoring yourself loving your inner soulmate because guess what?
Then you're going to be shining and glowing and very attractive To the person that's going to match you in and resonate in resonance of that energy.
Remember that magnetism thing I was talking about?
You know, I have a retreat coming up. I'm not sure when this is airing, but I have a retreat coming up and I was really sitting with, what do I wanna call it, and it's called Ignite Your Queen, and it's all about knowing that we deserve.
A beautiful, powerful, lovely second half of life in the way that has us waking up going. Yes. Yes. I, I love my life and whether a partner comes or not, however, it's that, Oh my God, I need to find somebody coming from that place of need and lack will bring you a very different flavor of relationship. Let's just say that.
Oh, yeah.
One last question, listeners. For those new here, this is when I ask the guest to reintroduce themselves without using descriptors like coach, mom, wife, et cetera. Why? Because I believe we are not our successes, our failures, titles, or hobbies. We are why we do those things, how we react to those things.
And when we can let go of identifying ourselves with those things and get to the bottom of what attracts us to them, we can apply our true identity to anything we do. And we can never lose who we are, even if we lose a job, a relationship, or stop doing a hobby. So let's hear what Junie Moon says.
Sure. And first let me just say thank you. This has been wonderful. You're an amazing interviewer and I love your podcast and just great questions. This has been lovely. So, I am Junie Moon. I'm 59, almost 60, celebrating it, not dreading it, wondering what I'm going to do to celebrate it, literally. I am a celebrator.
I am a manifester. I am a deeply loving, Feeling crazy, funky, fun, creative. See, I can toot my own horn. This might go on for a while. Beautiful, sexy
Hell yeah!
person.
Great, that's awesome. Thank you for that, and thank you for your kind words. Please tell everybody where they can find you and when the retreat is. I don't know if this will come out before or after that, but...
Yeah, yeah,
it's in November, it's in
November, the retreat to ignite your, your queen. It's for women in midlife, single and yet if you're in a partnership, you're welcome as well because it really is about igniting the second half of life on your terms. Uh, it's in Sedona and it's November 6th, 7th and 8th.
So if you're even Slightly curious. You're going to want to reach out to me. We can talk. The best way to find me is midlife love out loud. com midlife love out loud. com. That's where my podcast is, which has the same name, my blog and a lot of other information about creating a 📍 spectacular second chapter.
I just love saying her name, Junie Moon. It's adorable. And I got so much out of this episode, especially while editing it back. All of Junie Moon's info and my info can be found in the show notes. And if you loved this as much as I did, please send it around to all the people you know who are struggling with love and relationships.
And don't even try to tell me that you don't know anyone who is.
📍 You do, and they need to hear this. And the more you send it around, The more we grow and the more we grow, the more we can help you grow. So thanks in advance. Thank you also to Dan Davin for the music, David Harper for the artwork. I Am This Age is produced by Jellyfish Industries.
I'm 📍 Molly Sider. Catch you all next time.