Today’s episode is for anyone struggling with their sexuality and coming out to their friends and family, especially later in life. Jamie Garzot tells her story of realizing she’s gay at 49 and how she came out to her boyfriend and family. Jamie is a former cannabis entrepreneur and advocate. She wrote a book on her experience in the industry called Unconventional: A Memoir of Entrepreneurism, Politics, and Pot. In this episode, we talk about: Coming out in your 40’s Wasted time Sex Threesomes Masculinity and femininity in entrepreneurism Losing a parent at a young age by suicide How to embrace who you are and why it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself Full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Today’s episode is for anyone struggling with their sexuality and coming out to their friends and family, especially later in life. Jamie Garzot tells her story of realizing she’s gay at 49 and how she came out to her boyfriend and family. Jamie is a former cannabis entrepreneur and advocate. She wrote a book on her experience in the industry called Unconventional: A Memoir of Entrepreneurism, Politics, and Pot.
In this episode, we talk about:
Coming out in your 40’s
Wasted time
Sex
Threesomes
Masculinity and femininity in entrepreneurism
Losing a parent at a young age by suicide
How to embrace who you are and why it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself
Molly's Links:
Jamie's Links:
https://www.jamieandreagarzot.com/home/book
On TikTok as @jamie_the_author
Full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
This is a story about coming out after 40. If you're someone struggling with your sexuality and embracing what that might mean to you and your friends and family, especially if you're in midlife 📍 or older, this episode is for you.
Welcome to I Am This Age, the podcast proving it's never too late, you're never too old, so go do that thing you're always talking about.
I'm Molly Sider, a certified professional life coach, speaker, storyteller, and all around curious person. My guest today is a former cannabis entrepreneur, advocate, and former heterosexual. We talk about her experience in the cannabis world, how she figured out she was gay at
📍 49 years old, how she came out to the people in her life, including her then boyfriend, And how all those things are intertwined.
Jamie is so candid, vulnerable, and funny. I loved this episode so much. For anyone struggling with accepting parts of your authentic self, this episode is going to inspire you on how to do just that. 📍 Before we get started, if you are someone struggling in midlife and need some extra support, I'm here for you.
Click that link in the show notes to schedule a free one on one call with me. You do not have to silently suffer. all alone. This is what I do and love the most. Okay, now please enjoy jamie Garzot.
My name is Jamie Garzot. I am a former cannabis industry operator, turned author, turned late in life lesbian, which is not some things that usually go together, but yet we are.
It's awesome. I love that combo.
Jamie grew up in Sonoma County, California. After college, she moved north to Shasta, California, where she started a cannabis company long before marijuana was legal. So, as Jamie was growing her business, she was also on the front lines of fighting for its legalization. This is when she met Jim, a state legislator, with whom Jamie began a six and a half year romance.
During this time, marijuana was legalized and Jamie grew her business to the height that she was able to sell it to high times. From Shasta, she moved to San Diego, where she wrote a best selling book about her experience in the cannabis industry and her experience fighting for its legalization.
That book is called Unconventional, a memoir of entrepreneurism, politics, and pot. Jamie began feeling restless in California and disconnected in her relationship with Jim, so she made the decision to uproot and move to North Carolina in the hopes of finding what she felt was missing and rediscovering a connection to Jim.
But what ended up happening was very different.
This was in December of 2021, and I'd been in North Carolina maybe a month, and you know, it was a, it was a big process packing up and leaving California that, you know, the state that I've lived my whole life,
I chose to leave California for a multitude of reasons. And. And yet now reflecting back I can't help but wonder if there was something in me that knew that I needed to get out of my comfort zone and totally disrupt everything that I knew about my life in order to really come to the realization of, of who I am and who I have been my whole life.
You know, like you said, I've been with Jim at that point for about 6. 5 years, and for the most part, it was a solid relationship. He's a good person, and we have, had and have genuine liking for each other. Um, and we are still in touch. I think that's important to state because he's been supportive through this process.
But you know, but the relationship had been Rocky for a while and it was it always came down to something that has been a pattern in my relationships And it's my inability to connect Emotionally with, men and to be vulnerable with men and to really let them in.
And while I knew this was my pattern, I never connected it with my sexuality. And maybe that seems strange, but there's a number of reasons why, which I'm sure we'll get into maybe. And so I knew that there was something wrong with the, with the relationship. And more importantly with my inability to... Interact and connect appropriately. Intimately, I guess that's a better word. Connect intimately. And I'd been, you know, going to a therapist for years. Thousands of dollars, hundreds of hours, and trying to figure out what's wrong with me, trying to fix what I thought was broken. I remember sitting in, sitting in my big red chair, in my living room, and it just, it hit me, like, oh my god.
It, well, first it was a question. It was, am I gay? And then, and then, immediately after was, oh my god, I'm gay. And the physical sensation that I experienced right after I had that thought was, like, it was real. It was this release. It was this sense of overwhelming peace. And, I've never experienced anything like that before or since but it was just like oh, I get it.
By the way, I'm 51. I had this realization when I was 49. That's pretty late in the game to be figuring out that you are not bisexual. Because I told myself I was bisexual for about 30 years.
I realized when I was 20 that I was attracted to women, and I told myself I was attracted also, quote unquote because I'd only had relationships with men, and that's a whole other thing that I think that, you know, is, is worth talking about, like, how, how do you get to that point from realizing that you are attracted to women, considering yourself bisexual, and then realizing at 49 years old no, I'm not bisexual, I never have been because I've never truly been attracted to men sexually or physically.
But again, after, you know, there's layers and layers and layers and years of relationships and to kind of process and, and that doesn't happen overnight. And it was important for me that I get to the bottom of, well, how does that happen? What was going on? Like, what the fuck? there's a lot there.
And, but going back to that moment when I was in my chair, it was, like I said, that, that physical sensation of, Relief of oh my god, I can breathe. Oh my god. This is what is wrong. Of course. It's not wrong. It's just Explanation for so many things and so many pieces of the puzzle fell into place at that point
Yeah.
then of course the next thing was oh shit I got to tell a bunch of people and and you know, how is that going to go?
Oh my goodness. First of all, had you had any sort of like relationships with a man before when you just considered yourself bisexual?
No, I never had a relationship with a woman. I had kissed Several girls. I did have kind of a romantic I don't know. We weren't in a relationship with a friend of mine very close friend and we're still friends had a threesome with her and another guy and that and you know Of course, I was way more interested in her than I was with the guy and like that By the way, those are terrible never have one of just my advice to the world It's just three is an awkward number like somebody's always sitting there like anyway
I've never done it. And it always, because it always, well, I don't know. It's never been presented to me, but also it's, it seems awkward. It seems
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah. Like confusing. Like, where do
I mean again, you learn a lot, um, I don't know that it's always supposed to be an educational experience,
Everything, everything is
oh god,
so I, so, oh, so I never had, so I never had a relationship with a woman and honestly didn't really think that I ever could, and that was part of my, personal pushback over the years, like, yeah, okay, so, I don't really ever see myself having, um, A relationship with a woman so I, I can't be a lesbian, I can't be,
Gay or I can't be a lesbian if I don't see myself in a relationship. The other piece of that was that I could enjoy sex with, men. Meaning I could achieve orgasm through the process. And that was another kind of point of confusion for me or sticking point or roadblock, I don't know, whatever you want to call it.
But it's like, okay, well, I can't be gay if I can get off with a man. Now, again. Really looking, personally looking at, well, what is attraction? How many different types of attraction are there? And is there any connection between attraction and orgasms? Absolutely not! I mean, sometimes they go hand in hand, right?
But let's face it, you know, we can all self service, either manual or battery operated, and there's no attraction involved in any of those scenarios. So, once you realize that, it's like, oh, I don't have to be attracted to have an orgasm. Therefore, am I really attracted to men even though I can have an orgasm with them?
No, I'm not attracted to men and that was another like aha moment like oh crazy. I never thought about this I guess I never had a cause to think about this I never had a reason to like really deep dive into Attraction and orgasms and sex and all these things tell you what I had a cause back in you know the end of 2021 early 22
what made you even start to untangle this in, you know, North Carolina? Like, what made you sit in that room in your house on that day and ask am I gay?
What is attraction? Like, what was the catalyst for that?
You know, there was something deeply, deeply wrong with the relationship, and more importantly, like I said, my side of the relationship. And I started journaling and that was because like, I don't know that I've been a writer my whole life, but I, I find journaling extremely therapeutic.
I have done it my whole entire life and I started journaling and what I started to, what started to come out was points at which I'd been attracted to people in the past. And once you kind of open that. door I couldn't believe some of the things that, that kind of came rushing in, the floodgates really, the floodgate of memory really opened and, and there were things that, going back to when I was like 10, that started to surface, and points of repression, things that, where I look back now, it's like, oh my god.
I was gay all along. And you know, I think significant to my repressing my sexuality was the death of my mom when I was eight years old. And that, that really, again, I don't know if that was the point, but it was definitely a point of repression. aNd again, I've spent enough hours in therapy to understand things that, that how I dealt with that and just never really made the connection to my sexuality.
But, but I think more to your question. The first person that I came out to was my sister, and she's still in San Diego. And so we were FaceTiming and, and at the time when I was having this revelation, Jim was also in California. And while I felt comfortable coming out on FaceTime to my sister, that was not a way to tell my partner who I, thought highly of, think highly of at the time that, you know, that's just not something you do.
So my sister got. Coming out over FaceTime, Jim got in person, but one of the things my sister asked me, she said, she goes, I remember you talking about, you know, you being attracted to women, because I was never out as a bisexual. I never, that was like, super private. My sister kind of knew. So she said to me, she goes, I remember you, you talking about, you thinking you were attracted to women.
She goes, but you like the penis. She goes, so are you sure, are you sure, Jame, that you're, you know, not, really still bisexual and that you're and that was an important question because that's, that, it was that question that got me really thinking, do I, do I really like the penis and everything that goes with it, or is it the sensation that it provides?
And that's a really cold kind of question. analytical way of looking at it. But again, when I was sitting there, I, this is how I had to break it down. And that was part of answering that question. Well, how is that possible? You know, do I really like that? Do I really like men in that way? And everything led to the, the conclusion of no. I don't. I never have. And yet,
And yet, oh my goodness. okay, So you knew that you were bisexual. Your sister kind of knew. You didn't really tell anybody else, including Jim.
Why not tell people?
it wasn't maybe something that I was willing to acknowledge or wanted to acknowledge, or I just didn't think it was that important. Because what was important due to something called compulsory heterosexuality that I've now learned a lot about, was that you do what society expects you to do.
And those things include going to college, and those things include dating the right guy, finding the right guy, finding the perfect guy buying your house, getting married, in whatever particular order, having kids, which I never did do. Um, so that's a box that is still unchecked by choice. But, you know, society does have these boxes that we're expected to check, and that's what was important.
You did eventually tell Jim how long did it take you to have this conversation with him.
so I want, actually before we go there, because I, I will answer that, that question, but there was something that I do think is, is worth mentioning, because I know there's a lot of women that have, have had this experience, like what was the point? What was a catalyst? And one of the things that was a catalyst was TikTok.
you know, You're scrolling your for you page and, and for some reason. I don't know why, but I started getting some lesbian content. And again, in retrospect, always being drawn to the LGBT community, but Feeling like an outsider, but then also why am I drawn to it? Like, there's all of these things now that I realize were indicators.
But looking at some of the lesbian content that was for some reason coming across my For You page on TikTok, that was also part of it, like, oh what's this? Because you're in your own house. You're in your, comfortable chair. You're, you're totally anonymous. And it's also a safe space to really look at things and explore things, and not just as a viewer, but as a creator.
So seeing some of the creators that were coming across my page, it's like, oh. Why do I like this? What's going on? Why am I reacting in this way to a certain video? And then that coupled with Journaling was like oh my goodness Now I understand
Yeah.
I don't know about you, but I'm dying to know how Jim took the news.
He was in California and we were we were together at Christmas briefly but it wasn't the time to really talk about that. He had flown out and then he went back, like I think January 1st, he flew back to California and this was all kind of in, in the, the point where I was working through these thoughts and emotions and these realizations. So he went back to California and we didn't leave on great terms. And during the time he was gone, we didn't talk very much. And I needed to process this by myself.
And so pushing him away physically and We didn't talk very much in January. He knew something was coming. So when he flew out back to North Carolina at the end of Somewhere towards the end of January in 22, he knew in his gut that it was going to be the last time that he saw me and that the relationship would end.
Now, he had no inkling the reason, other than, you know, we just had not been, Good. And, so I picked him up at the airport, and it was, it was late at night, and we were driving back, it was about an hour drive back to where, where we lived, and I just, I reached over, and I grabbed his hand, and I said, I have something to tell you, and he was kind of quiet and I told him, I go, I'm, I'm gay.
And I got a lot of silence and he, um, I guess he said, Wow, you know, I wasn't expecting that. And so we talked a little bit and continued to talk over the course of that weekend that he was there. He stayed that, you know, the two nights we slept in separate bedrooms. And over the next few days that followed, we. Sat on the couch and talked and I showed him some of my journal and we cried and we, both processed a lot of emotions and, he did say at one point he goes, well, you know, I do have to admit this is the only time I've ever wished I was a woman.
Yeah.
Right. Um, And so that was also the time that was when I kind of came out to the rest of my family also.
And I did that through text because, you know, I can hit everybody with, with one message and, it was emotional. It was I don't know that it was difficult because it felt it, because I knew that it was right. And so it, it, and I wasn't, actually, I wasn't scared about the reaction.
I just wasn't, but it was also something that, um, needed to happen.
Why do you think you weren't scared of his reaction?
It's just not his style to, to be To, to be angry over something like that. It's just not in his nature, and that's probably why I suggested, or I offered, I said, do you want to see some of what I've been journaling about, and he said, sure, and I believed.
And at the end he's like, yeah, okay, you are definitely gay.
While I imagine this was difficult, and it's always hard and sad to end any relationship, it seems like Jamie and Jim had a really special conversation that allowed them to stay for friends to this day.
Clearly, Jamie has done a lot of work on herself, but I imagine Jim has too.
I'm so curious, because you came out, or you figured this out when you were 49, , Did you ever have any feelings about your age, or time wasted, or anything else like that, of
Oh God, yes. Absolutely.
Tell me about that!
Absolutely. So, you know, I think there was a feeling of oh my God, did I waste all this time? But what I, what I came back to and what I will always come back to is that I will never regret Past experiences. I will never regret past relationships because even the one and you know the ones Ultra toxic when I talk about in my book Which was just a fucking shit show I can't even regret that because of how much I learned as a person and how much I grew from those experiences So while my knee jerk reaction was oh my god, I've wasted so much time Like why didn't I figure this out when I was 20?
I very quickly Check myself on that reaction because the reality is, is I don't regret. Where I am now in my life. I don't regret any path that I've chosen and I do believe that we all come to our realization We come to our truth at the time that is perfect for each of us My time was 49 later than most maybe not as late as others.
I don't know so yes, I had that thought but then my next I don't know if it was a fear definitely a concern was you know Who's going to want to deal with a 49 year old newbie? Like, you know, that's kind of a lot to take on. Like, you know, there's, there, and, and, you know, my, my girlfriend, now Michelle, she had told me you know, one of her concerns was that, like, what if...
What if I realize I was wrong? You know, getting into a relationship and then realize, oh, maybe I'm not gay, maybe I am bisexual, maybe I do miss men, like, so there were concerns for her
How did you address that?
just talking about it, and, you know, that, and I I was very direct, I think about, I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know what to do with my hands.
ha ha ha ha ha!
being super awkward because, you know, in some ways, things are the same. In some ways, they're very, very different. And and so, like, just being... Awkward, really about the sex piece. Like, I don't know what to do. And yet you do know what to do because you're very familiar with how everything works and, and, but things, again, I, you know, I, I discovered that I have reactions that I never had with men and that I enjoy things that I never enjoyed with men and just the whole experience is phenomenal and it's about the experience and it's about the intimacy.
It's not just about the end game where with men, it was always about the end game. Never about the intimacy or the enjoyment or the connection, you know what I mean? And so there, those are two very different approaches to, to sex. And, but yeah, so I was nervous about being, you know, a 49 year old rookie virgin, you know, and not, and not knowing what to do and, and being terrible and like, yes, that was something I was, I was really concerned about and afraid of and like, who's going to want to date a 49 year old rookie? Well.
I ended up meeting my, the most amazing woman and, you know, moving to another state for her and now we're engaged and,
You met her over TikTok, you
we did. Yeah, we met on TikTok.
How does that happen? .
Um, in some ways I think TikTok is even better, a better dating app than what's than the apps that are marketed for that because of the way you can And you can connect with people. And so I had come across a video of Michelle's and, you know, of course, I'm like, Ooh, who's that?
And so I started following her and, you know, liking her content and started engaging our content. She followed me back. And then it was. I don't know, it was, it was February 26th, 2022, and she sent me a message through TikTok, and we talked every single day since then, and then we moved to FaceTime, and then text, and then we met in person, and, um, and just kind of went from there, but.
Yeah, February 26th is when, is when she messaged me and, and we just never stopped talking.
Wow. And you're engaged now, which I, I, when we last spoke, you said you were getting ready to propose to her in Hawaii, I
Yes, we went to Hawaii in September
Oh,
I proposed on, um, September 14th. Thank
oh, congratulations.
you. And so our wedding is, is, um, planned for October 5th of next year.
Congratulations.
When Jayme and I first spoke, she told me that writing her book was, in a way a coming out which for a book about running a business in politics seems like a stretch and yet what she reveals is a coming out in every sense
There are a couple of what I call lesbianisms in the book. It is truly about believing in yourself, about following your dream, and never giving up on either of those things.
About never giving up on yourself or your vision, your dream, whatever that is. That's what the book is about at its core. And it's set against the backdrop of the cannabis industry. And so, I can't really say it's about the cannabis industry, even though the reader is going to learn a ton about it. But part of what I talk about is my...
Journey as a business person and my personal growth as an employer, going back to some of the things that happened, like I mentioned, my mom's death when I was eight years old and some of the family dynamics that led me to really embrace a more masculine attitude in the business world. And. And so there is, there are some discussions of masculinity and femininity in the book that relate directly to kind of the fallout of my mom's, of my mom's suicide because she did take her own life at a very early age.
And the impacts of that and how that translates into certain strengths and certain weaknesses as a human. And, Some things I thought were strengths and some things I thought were weaknesses, particularly around how I connect with women, how I connect with men, and my ability to be vulnerable in general.
So those kind of all go back to that very traumatic time around her death, but I do think that that also impacted a lot of my sexuality. To your original question, when I was writing the book, I did have to go back and really kind of... Revisit some of those things and, put into words for the first time my thoughts on masculinity, femininity, how I, while at the surface I do appear very feminine and I am, my energy is a lot more masculine.
And that served me well in the business world but also is counterproductive sometimes in relationships. And so looking at those qualities that we have, because everybody has masculinity and femininity, it's just sometimes we choose to focus more on one and hide the other. Men in, in particular, I think are, are really great at hiding their feminine side because that's, Western, you know, society expectations.
When I was drafting that manuscript and going through some of these realizations, that really, um, kind of was the starting point.
That's so interesting and
Well, and something that, that my therapist had, made me realize is that When you're a child and you ha and you lose a parent, it is very natural to attach more strongly to the other parent. In this case, it was my dad. And so to kind of take on some of those characteristics of the surviving parent and to look down on the characteristics of the parent that is gone.
so I. For a long time really saw my mom as weak, even though I now understand she really wasn't. There's a whole bunch of things that go into, somebody taking their own life and it's, it's not always weakness. And so that was a shift that I made subconsciously at a very young age and trying to be.
I think more masculine, which of course you would think, well, then I should have come out right. Being, being, seeing myself as more masculine, but I was also at the same time simultaneously kind of shunning feminine movie and always at that, you know, wanting to do more of the guy things and be more of the, I don't know, like, I was definitely a tomboy growing up.
Um, and so again, you're now looking at these two things. It's really interesting to me to look, to think, okay, well I understand why I was kind of pushing femininity aside. But then on one hand, you know, I look at pictures of me as, as a little tomboy. It's like, Oh my God, I was gay as fuck. Like, why didn't anybody see this coming?
You know, God, I played softball for 10 years for fuck's sake,
so Jamie and her fiance Michelle, live in Indiana where Michelle is from. Jamie had told me that she doesn't wanna do any more advocacy. She worked really hard for several years working on legalizing marijuana, and she's understandably tired, but she does live in Indiana, which is one of the few states left without any cannabis legislation.
And then there's the other part of Indiana being one of the least supportive for LGBTQ rights. So, while Jamie said she didn't want to be involved, I had to ask how much she thought being in Indiana was a coincidence versus the universe calling her back into action.
so I've had so many people since I've, I've come here either, you know, ask me or else just assume that I'm going to get back in the industry. And I, you know, when I left in 2020, I was done and I've been totally unplugged from the industry since then. So I have zero interest in going back into operations.
But something that I did enjoy during my time in California, even more than operations was the advocacy was the outreach and those things were really pivotal to my success. Both as a local operator and at the state level as far as policy So if there were an opportunity in Indiana to get engaged in advocacy and outreach again From a non operator standpoint, I would absolutely do that.
I still think the industry is fascinating I think the outreach pieces is very important And I and I have a unique perspective having done Both the operations, local advocacy and statewide advocacy. So I would jump back into that if the opportunity presented itself, there's just no discussion really taking place in India.
And I think last year there was a Republican Senator who had had, had a bill cause his district is on the border of Illinois. I can't remember the gentleman's name, but there was a Senator that introduced a bill last year. I don't think it went anywhere. Cause Illinois is a, it has. I think full legalization and then
you have, you
know,
in
from it. Yeah. Oh, okay. So people crossing the, you know, I think we're only about an hour from Illinois people crossing the state line with product and the cops, they're like, this is confusing. You know, we need something, let's just get on board. so yeah, I don't, I would not go back into operations, but I would jump back into the political and outreach advocacy piece again.
Yeah.
Now as far as being. In a conservative state, and being gay Yeah, I mean, there's times when Michelle and I are out and we're walking around and we're holding hands, And we get, looks, we get, we get stares, and, and they're not friendly, But, no, neither of us give a fuck. You know, she's 47, I'm 51, like, That is something that I will say coming out later in life I'm much better prepared to deal with people who don't approve of our lifestyle.
I don't give a fuck. You know, I'm not here to please you. I'm here to please me. The other thing that I think is easier, you know, despite being a, a more conservative part of the country, you know, Michelle came out when she was, she's 47. Now she came out when she was in her, I want to say mid twenties. So that was in the nineties.
And, this was before any type of social media. This was before any type of gay rights. But that's when she came out. And so. Her family has been accepting of this for a very long time, and her friends, she's well known in the community, and everybody knows that, that she's a lesbian.
It's not, like, a surprise for anybody that has made it easier, I think, for me, because, She's been out for so long. So there's a, like, a built in level of comfortability, I guess, is the only way I can explain it. It doesn't mean that, you know, like I said earlier, when we go out and we hold hands or something, it's...
And I don't, we've never had anybody blatantly, like, come at us. But, yeah, we both stare down people before.
Yeah.
I'm not afraid to, you know, stare down some motherfucker that wants to give us the eye, like, I don't,
you know, beat it.
Yeah. It just sucks that you have to do that.
It's a choice, because we could choose, we could choose to not hold hands, right? We, we could choose to not, display our affection publicly but, no, I mean, if, if we were a straight sex couple, nobody would be staring. So I'm, so I'm not going to choose, I'm, or I'm not going to hide this, I've, for God's sake, I've hid this long enough and we're both comfortable displaying affection in public, whether or not other people like it, doesn't matter, you know, we're, we're going to be ourselves and,
We love each other. So we're going to do what we want to do and fuck the haters.
Yeah, fuck those people. What advice would you give someone who is, say, like, midlife or older, who's struggling with their sexuality, if any?
Yeah so my my tiktok account that I have now Personally is a lot of what I talk about on there
and I get people in my comments that will say you know, I'm still, I'm not quite there yet. I wish I could be like you, or, I wish I could be as brave as you. And I, for whatever reason, they're still not ready to do that. So I know for a fact that there are women, for whatever reason, sometimes I had somebody who, um, she's in a country where she would go to jail for 15 years if she were to come out.
And then Other women, I think, just are afraid for any number of reasons. Maybe they have kids that they're afraid to, you know, we'll disown them. Maybe there's religious trauma there. There, I don't always know details. I, I just know that there are women like me. And I would just say that, it can be scary and I, I can see that, but when you are able to be yourself completely it is, incredibly liberating.
It is the best feeling ever. And finding your truth and recognizing that embracing that giving yourself grace your fear is not going to kill you. But what, what can kill you is, is living a life that is not true. It'll kill, it'll kill your spirit.
Come out, find yourself, embrace who you are and start living for you. Because if you, if you're not doing that, you're living your life for everybody else. And that's some bullshit right there.
Yes.
live, you gotta live your life for yourself.
You know, my job on this planet is, is to be a good person, to live my life for me and if I'm doing anything less than it, then really I'm living my life for other people, and I'm not willing to do that.
Hell yeah. That's great advice.
Of course, I can't end an episode without asking Jamie to reintroduce herself without using descriptors like entrepreneur, author, advocate, etc. Because I believe we are not our successes, failures, titles, or hobbies.
It's important to detach ourselves from those titles and create self awareness around the why. Why we do or have or strive for. for those things. Maybe we're adventurous, curious, we like to be vulnerable.
Or maybe we're avoidant and driven by scarcity or fear. Surely there's a little of that in all of us. When we can recognize these traits, we get closer to our core identity and we can.
Be better directed towards the things and people that aligned with the kind of person we are, or we're striving to be. This is about self awareness. Okay, let's hear what Jamie's answer is.
so I'm, my name is Jamie. I'm a 51 year old female human being who is always going to live an unconventional life. I'm always going to take the road less traveled, and I am always going to be, kind, generous, thoughtful, with the knowledge that I can always be more of those things, and I'm always going to be growing and chasing new experiences in life, and I'm always going to be true to myself, And live a life of joy and happiness that is good for my spirit and good for those around me.
Awesome. That's great.
But now I wanna, now I wanna like, put that in writing and like, fine tune that. Cause I think that's a really cool way of looking at who we are. Is not, not assigning our identity to a thing or a job or, you know, one experience. I think, God, that's... Yeah, that's a great question. And I, so now, now my little project myself is to put that in writing and articulate that better because I think more of us should do that.
yeah, I agree. I thank you. I'm glad that this has resonated with you so much. Some people don't get it when I ask it, but I think it's so important because at least for me knowing who I am like. At my core really helps to recenter me whenever I'm in a situation that like is scary or you know, I hate confrontation, but I'm like, okay, all I have to do is be curious and kind and vulnerable.
Like I can do those things that who is who I am at my core, or, again, like if you lose a job or a relationship, it's like if you so many people when, when. They lose those things become so lost because they have attached their identity to those things and now they don't have that thing, but if you can detach from that and be like, well, okay, I love that thing.
There's always mourning. It's not like you're not going to feel sad or have to, do some work to bounce back, but I'm still this person, no one can take that away from me. And so, how do I apply that to this situation, or that situation, or that, and you can literally apply who you are to any situation that you, that you encounter in your life ever, and you just, just get so much easier to handle kind of anything,
Yeah.
Totally. Because we, we are more than You know, whatever it is, we get up and go do every day. We are more than whatever our bank account statement shows. and maybe there's people out there that have never realized maybe their worth and so they, they attach more.
They're outsourcing their worth to the
yeah, to the external, because really that's what we're talking about. We're talking about the external versus the internal. I love it. I'm, I, this is, I'm going to do that because I think it's cool.
Awesome. I'm so glad.
thank you so much for coming
and telling your whole story. And is there anything else that you want to share before we? Sign off.
For women like me who are maybe a similar age, not sure what to do, do this for yourself. Doing this for yourself is maybe the greatest gift you will ever give yourself is finding your truth.
It will be messy. Potentially, it'll be emotional. It'll be confusing, but it has always been worth it. And so really do this for yourself. And then my second thing is I got to plug my book. You can find me, um, jamieandreagarzo. com is my website, you can get some more info.
The book, by the way, is one to day ten. Separate awards and recognitions. So it's being well received by the critics. And you can purchase it on Amazon. You can purchase it on Barnes Noble. I have a TikTok shop set up for it so you can purchase it there. And if you do buy it from my TikTok store, you, it comes directly from me with like a 📍 little signed note and all that.
Thank you so much, Molly. This has been, this has been really fun.
so much good stuff in that conversation. And I'm so grateful to Jamie for sharing her journey with us. All of her links and mine will be found in the show notes.
Please be sure to check out her book. And of course, if you love this episode or any others, please take one minute to send it to two other people you think may also benefit from it. People need to hear these stories and it only takes a minute. 📍 The more we grow, the more we can help you grow. Thank you to Dan Devon for the music, David Harper for the artwork.
I am the Sage, just produced by Jellyfish Industries. I'm Molly Sider. Catch you all next time.