I Am This Age

From Fear Consciousness to Love Consciousness; Kristin Taylor, Age 53

Episode Summary

Kristin Taylor is a coach, author, and podcast host of How I Made Through, where she explores the question of what happens when we die. Today Kristin shares how she went from corporate to owning her own coaching business and how the loss of her friend influenced her ability to live and love to her fullest potential. In the episode, we cover things like: What’s our internal story of worth? A scarcity versus an abundant mindset. How to think about loss and grief in a new way. The power of being a highly sensitive person. A full transcription is available on https://www.iamthisage.com/

Episode Notes

Kristin Taylor is a coach, author, and podcast host of How I Made Through, where she explores the question of what happens when we die. Today Kristin shares how she went from corporate to owning her own coaching business and how the loss of her friend influenced her ability to live and love to her fullest potential. 

 

In the episode, we cover things like:

What’s our internal story of worth?

A scarcity versus an abundant mindset.

How to think about loss and grief in a new way.

The power of being a highly sensitive person. 

 

A full transcription is available on https://www.iamthisage.com/

Contact Molly:

molly@jellyfishindustries.com

www.mollysider.com

IG: @mollyatthisage

Contact Kristin:

https://www.kristintaylorconsulting.com/

coachkristintaylor@gmail.com

https://www.linkedin.com/company/kristin-taylor-consulting-llc/

Episode Transcription

 Want to live to your fullest and greatest potential. Silly question you're thinking doesn't everybody you might be asking, while yes, might seem like the obvious response, often our actions don't support that answer. Often our skepticism, our little sense of worth and our fear of change get in our way.

 

But if we stay open and embrace our sensitivities, we have limitless possibilities. What exactly does that mean and look like? Listen up and find  📍 out.

 

 

 

Welcome to I Am This Age, the podcast proving it's never too late.

 

You are never too old, so go do that thing you're always talking about. I'm Molly Sider, the creator and host. I am also a certified professional life coach, working with people in midlife to rediscover their true identity in order to write their next life chapter with confidence and purpose.

 

If you are someone in midlife who needs help figuring out what to do next in life, you can find a link in the show notes to work with me.

 

Today's episode is full of so much knowledge and inspiration about starting over, grieving, embracing our sensitivities, and so much more. As I was editing it, I realized it was exactly what I needed to hear this week.

 

So without further ado,  please enjoy the episode. 📍  kristen Taylor is 53 and has a master's degree in psychology, but she went to work in corporate America rather than getting licensed.  She got married at 37, had a child at 38, and because they moved around with Kristen's husband who worked in the military, Kristen became a remote coach for that big company until at age 46.

 

She was laid off. She then went to work for a startup, and as startups go, she was laid off shortly after. Starting this string of events would be hard on anyone's self-confidence. So you might be surprised to hear that this is exactly when Kristen's career started to take off.

 

 So when you were laid off for the second time, what was your immediate internal story or belief about yourself?

 

That is such a good question and I love that it's belief about myself, so it's, it was a belief about myself as well as the world. The world belief. I'll start. There was things are not safe. It was a sense of scarcity and fear. We had just recently moved, we had a new house and it was a sense of the world is not safe.

 

Things are not fair and I better hustle. It was a sense, and I remember that it was the second time of being on Zoom and going, oh, here we go again. I'm about to be laid off yet again. And I swear I gave myself no space, no time, and I immediately started contacting people, reaching out, like, I will not let this happen to me.

 

I'm going to get a job and I'm gonna get a job. Now, looking back, it was such an invitation. To pause. It was such an invitation to take a look at who are you to ask that question, who are you? And the reason I'm not saying like answering who I was. I was living in fear. My nervous system was incredibly dysregulated.

 

It was a sense of I am a survivor and I will hustle, but I didn't use the time. Initially, because I ended up using the time, but initially I did not use the time to take a deep breath to examine who I was, to lean into trust and into faith, and to recognize that in as much as it hurt, it was also happening for me, not just to me.

 

What did it take to get you to change your perspective on that?

 

Yeah, it took a lot. It took a lot. And one of the gifts of when something quote unquote bad happens is that sometimes it has to get really bad for us to pay attention. And at least it did for me. And when I say really bad, I mean it had to hurt a little bit. I. It wasn't really bad, like life or death or anything like that, but, um, I immediately got connected with people that I'd formally worked with and we had a lot of respect for one another, and there was this sales position.

 

I didn't love sales, but it had the possibility of giving me what I felt I needed, which was a reliable income in a field for which I was very familiar and I probably could have been very successful. Anyway, I was interviewed. A couple of times in the last interview was a panel interview with the c e o and we had to demo how we might give a sales presentation, and it was horrible.

 

Like everything from the universe was like, make sure that the camera doesn't work. Make sure that your internet goes out. Make sure that this c e o totally doesn't get you. Like I had to assign them all roles. I said specifically, I am choosing that the president is not here because they typically would not be in this meeting.

 

So here are the roles I'd like you to choose from omitting the president role and the c e o said I'll be the president. And I went, okay. Right. So anyway, did the interview, it just fell flat and I knew it felt flat, but I was like, it was what it was. I did what I intended to do. The vibe was just so off.

 

I was off. There was no connection. No, uh, you know, there was no co-regulation. I'll just keep using the nervous system. I was not in my body. I was not connected to these people. Anyway, I don't remember how long past, not very long, but the president called me back of this company and said, I'd like to debrief you.

 

And in that moment I thought, I don't want this, I don't want the job. I don't wanna be debriefed. I didn't really like her, but I said, okay. And she said, can I be honest with you? Which, you know, you're like, that is just code for, can I say things that I'm sure you will not like?

 

Yeah.

 

And I said, okay. She just went to town saying, God, everyone said you were so amazing and you're so good, and maybe you are, but you really didn't show up and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

 

And it was like 15 minutes of just ow, ow, ow, ow. And I got off the meeting and my face was bright red. I was sweating. And I went downstairs and it was that defining moment, that turning point. And I said to my husband, never again. Never again. This is not who I am. I didn't wanna do it in the first place. I wasn't paying attention to who I am and what I want and doing what was aligned and in flow.

 

I mean, there are a lot of different ways we can talk about it, but I kept saying yes and I kept living in fear and I wasn't pausing, I wasn't believing in myself. I wasn't recognizing that everything was going to be okay, which is hard to do when there's, you know, I have to take care of my family.

 

Hmm.

 

But in that moment, it actually really empowered me. I was like, it stops now. It stops. Now I know who I am and I've momentarily forgot, but I'm going to get back on track remembering what I care about. I. What I'm good at, what I'm curious about, I'm 40, and I think at that point I was 47. I'm 47 years old. Like I'm done with someone telling me you and I gave her permission that she's not the bad guy in this.

 

There are no bad guys in this. But I gave her permission instead of saying, no, I'm not okay with this. I'm not comfortable with the way that, you know, it wasn't about. Again, good by good guy, bad guy saying, you really screwed me over. And you, it wasn't about that. It was about, I am seeing that this is not the right fit.

 

I wanna thank you for your time. I learned a lot and I wish you all the best,

 

but I kept giving away my power and in that moment I decided I'm not going to give away my power.

 

Ugh. Yes. I am so curious because I think that's, that is a really like, powerful moment. And I think we all have these like, Baseline levels of confidence or like worthiness or some story that we've been telling ourselves for most of our lives. Um, for example, mine was often that I was powerless to my life situation because I was, I wa I wasn't worthy of having the things that I wanted to have in my life.

 

Some peoples are more positive than that. What was your sort of baseline story that you'd been telling yourself all your life?

 

Yeah, I really appreciate that question. I was trained as a narrative therapist, so I think that's very germane to this conversation. It's about what are we believing and it's all about identity and what are the stories that are scripts that we're falling consciously or unconsciously.

 

Mm-hmm.

 

Mine was, I'm not safe. Mine was, I will be found out. That I'm not good enough, smart enough. I'm not lovable, but it boiled down to I'm not safe. And it goes back to even childhood, like my family really struggled financially and it was the sense of better take whatever's in front of you because there might not be another offer, whether it was with a mate or a job or whatever it was.

 

It didn't come from I am safe, I have choice, I have time. I am worthy.

 

Well, it's one thing to step into a worthiness mentality, and it's quite another to apply that mentality practically and tangibly, especially when starting over or starting something new. But here's where age and life experience come in handy because everything we do relates to or responds to who we have been in the past.

 

Even the painful parts help guide us where to go next as proved in Kristen's next steps.

 

I had my master's degree in counseling psychology. I was trained as a therapist, had many years of practicums and internships, and worked as a crisis counselor, and I worked as a corporate trainer. And then at that point I'd had, gosh, um, 10 years of coaching experience.

 

And I also worked, you know, as a coach, directing other coaches, training other coaches I'd had so much recognition that you, Kristen, are really good at that. And it was the first time that, I won't say the first time, but one of the most sustained times where I recognized I am good at this, I am good at this, and this is valuable and needed in the world.

 

And I was particularly working in higher ed, particularly again with first generation low income students. And I knew that there was a need.

 

Hmm.

 

the privilege that I had was that with my husband being military, We had health insurance. That's a big deal when you're about to, what I'm about to say is that I started my own coaching business and consult, um, consulting business.

 

We are a two income family. It wasn't like my husband's like, you know, take a little time off. Like, no, we needed to pay the mortgage and we were a two income family, but we had health insurance. So being married, having health insurance gave me the space. I was still in hustle mode, but I. Return to the reason the people at this company said, Kristin, we want you here, is because I knew I was good with leadership, management, training, coaching, that stuff I knew, and it was just not even just a skillset.

 

It was such an essential extension of who I was.

 

Hmm.

 

And so I just said, I'm gonna start my own business. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm going to figure this out. And I did, and every day I still do. So that was six years ago, I'm still, and each year it gets better, like the people that I've met, the successes that I'm having, the money that I'm making, the impact that I'm having, and I'm learning so much more that even when I was at that company that I was originally laid off for, I'd been there for nine years. I was never making the money I wanted to make. And there were initiatives and projects and directions that I wanted to go with my talent and skill and interest that I was being blocked from. And yet again, it was safe because I had a paycheck. I had a community, right? But I knew, I'm like, I, I, this is not it.

 

It didn't light me up. Now every day owning my own business practice as an executive and life coach, doing the podcast and the other creative endeavors that I shared, I get ownership. If I don't wanna have that client, I don't have that client. If I wanna charge them that much, I can charge them that much If I wanna, you know, not charge someone because it feels like my soul is calling me and my heart is saying that I really wanna help, really wanna help this person, then.

 

I get to be in the driver's seat of my own life, and it is totally revolutionized my relationship to fear and possibility and belief. And the beauty of being in your fifties is there's just more of a capacity to not, can I swear,

 

Yes, absolutely.

 

not give a fuck in the way that I did? Like if someone doesn't like me, like okay, it might sting.

 

Ultimately I, it's not my responsibility to make you like me. I'm just gonna continue to follow what I care about and what I wanna learn about. You know? And so much like when I think about the actual coaching that I do, I'm not a business coach. Like we're not gonna pull out the sales scripts and the business processes.

 

I mean, sometimes I do that and I know how to do that, but it doesn't light me up. I'm a coach who teaches people how to manage stress and anxiety and imposter syndrome because it is no accident that I want to lead with where I'm healing, and those are the places that I healed, and so I'm living it. I'm not just saying this is, you know, here's some routes for you to learn nervous system regulation or understanding your relationship to being an imposter or moving through anxiety.

 

It's like I'm along. With you on the ride. And so it's a forcing mechanism for my own growth and my own integrity, but it just feels so beautiful in a way that I would never have gotten here if I wasn't laid off twice.

 

Around this time a dear friend and great supporter of Kristen's passed away and Kristen's experience of witnessing her friend losing her battle with her life changed Kristen's life trajectory once again as she learned the secret of how grief can lead us to live our greatest potential.

 

Listen up.

 

Well my friend was an alcoholic and she was three years younger than I was and am. So for the last 10 years I had seen her decline. Because of the disease of alcoholism. There's so much, um, lying. When I saw her and she's only, she was only five one, she'd gained 70 pounds and on 5, 1 70 pounds shows up and she suddenly had psoriasis.

 

Like her skin was just peeling off and she looked horrible. I mean, she looked like she was dying, but she said she had autoimmune issues. She said she had lupus. And you know, she was actually a substance abuse counselor

 

Wow.

 

and so she knew what to say and how to say it. And there were periods where she wouldn't be present in my life, big periods.

 

And there were always reasons, and a lot of it was because I'm sick and I struggle with autoimmunity. So she would really reinforce like, you are one of the people who gets it, that I can't just show up And And so I knew something was terribly wrong. I didn't know how bad the alcoholism was. But then, um, nearing her death, she came up to visit and she smelled like alcohol. And I recognized there was a huge, huge problem. And I basically a few weeks later said, you know, I'm up in Olympia, Washington. She's down in Portland, Oregon. It's a couple hours drive and I said, I'm just coming down. I didn't give her a choice. I'm gonna spend the weekend with you. I'm coming in. And I think she was like, oh my God.

 

And so I came into her apartment and it was a disaster

 

and her eyes were jaundiced and she shared about recently going into the hospital and that the doctor said, you know, you gotta change. And she said, I am. And, and this was just like such a new beginning for her and she was gonna move up here. And so all was all these plans.

 

Mm.

 

So I could go into this story for a very long time, but, Did I have a chance to say goodbye? In the sense that we had time together where I recognized I could not save her, that I could express my love for her that I knew. And I remember saying to my husband, she's dying. We're gonna lose her. I'm not kidding about this.

 

And he said, no, no, no. And he didn't wanna hear it because who does? And I said, no, I, I'm not doing this just to be dramatic. She is going to die. And then, I don't remember how long it was, probably six months, a friend of hers. And I remember saying to her, I don't wanna use her name. Not that anyone would know, but. I need your friend's phone numbers because if there's an emergency, we need to be able to communicate. And anyway, like six months or so later, I got a call from one of her friends and she said, um, I can't find her. She's not answering something's wrong. So we all rallied around and, and, um, she ended up in, uh, I C U and then, uh, I think two or three days later she died.

 

So I was, you know, she was, she was unconscious at that point. I mean, she was an active. Organ failure. And so I was able to go in while unconscious and hold her hand and tell her I love her. And I remember actually, I didn't actually say I goodbye because this was also a place of like spiritual awakening for me.

 

That this was the catalyst for that. And part of what my podcast is about is that we don't actually, yes, our bodies die, but our souls and our spirits are energy and they, they move on. And so I said, you know, I will continue my relationship with you, but. This is the end of this. This is it, you know, reached its last chapter in terms of what we've had.

 

And I do feel like I've been able to connect with her. But her death, like I said, was a catalyst for me doing a deep dive into what happens when we die, not from an organized religion. 'cause I had explored that and it wasn't a good fit, but. Listening to people who had had near death experiences. I'd listened to hundreds listening to intuitives, clairvoyance, mediums, whatever you call them.

 

I discovered a, um, filmmaker out of Hollywood, Richard Martini, who has a bunch of documentaries he calls. Flip side and hacking. The flip side is his podcast and he does a lot of research. I discovered what's called the Newton Institute, where people go not just into hypnosis, into past lives, but lives between lives, where they talked about being in the astral plane and talking to their spirit councils.

 

I mean, I did a deep, deep, deep dive for years,

 

Wow.

 

and it just totally opened my eyes too. Consciousness what we're here to do, understanding the afterlife, just sort of breaking the veil of this is what life is. And that also helped with the anxiety.

 

Well, yeah, that makes sense. Making sense out of something so confusing and painful.

 

And just life, you know, like living a life where there was a lot of trauma in the beginning, recognizing like, oh, I signed up for this. I chose that. I mean, truly, these are my beliefs, which a lot of research has been done, um, to understand consciousness and exploring the afterlife. I'm truly not the only one who believes this.

 

But having even my own moments of clairvoyance and connection with the other side and hearing from Peggy and then my father died in 2020

 

and, um, getting messages from him. So, I mean, to your listeners who might be like, oh my God, she is a whack job. That is fine if someone thinks that. And it's also something that really sustains me and has totally shifted my life and my capacity to live in greater love consciousness versus fear consciousness, which impacts every aspect of my life.

 

Yeah, this is so interesting and I was, my next question was going to be how. Sort of, have you felt supported by her or even your, your dad, and how do you think you've been supportive of them or were supportive them? Supportive of them, you know, but right before they died, but it sounds like this is the way,

 

yeah,

 

this, is that you continue to support each other even in the afterlife.

 

yeah, that's exactly, there's. I will always miss both of them,

 

Mm-hmm.

 

but they're liberated. They know the secret on the other side, like they, they get it, you know, and they are in, there's so many different terms from it because on my podcast, I interview so many people who've had either near-death experiences or can connect with the other side,

 

and they're in freedom and love and truth, and they're no longer in pain, and I'm happy for them.

 

They did what they came here to do. It was their time to move on, and doesn't mean that grieving is bypassed at all. I miss them every day, and yet I know that they are here and it's up to me and I don't do a very good job of it, but quieting my mind, instilling myself so that the connection can be,  accessed.

 

Yeah, they're in a good space and they're well and happy and it's much harder for us.

 

But knowing that they're okay, somehow feels better, somehow makes it a little bit easier.

 

To think about or to to handle while we're still alive, or at least that's how I am feeling as I'm listening to you talk.

 

that's exactly right. There's no spiritual bypassing. I mean, we are in these nervous systems and navigating these emotions and navigating the complexity of what it means to be in human form, and we have to move through grief. It's part of the process. And yet for me, and I think for many, many people, having the faith through some what feels like evidence to me, even in my own lived experience of connecting with my friend and connecting with my dad, it is like I'm happy for them and one day I will be there again.

 

'cause we've, again, this being my belief system, we've had. Hundreds of lives before, so we've gone through this process. We just, we just choose. We consent to forgetting so that we can come back and be

 

you always believe, was this always your belief system or did this start with the passing of, of your friend?

 

It reconfirmed,

 

Hmm.

 

Even from being a young child, there was a sense of. I dunno how to describe it. It's sometimes the words are just so frustrating, right? Like these big concepts, especially as you're a kid. Like I remember my mom's grief when her dad died and I didn't know her dad, and I remember exactly where I was standing.

 

I'm watching her cry. And she's explaining her relationship to her dad or something. And I said, well, where was I? 'cause I was about four years old or five years old. And she goes, oh, you weren't a lot, you weren't born yet. And I said, well, where was I? And she goes, you weren't anywhere. You didn't exist.

 

And I remember, I mean, I didn't have the words like existential or spiritual. I'm like, it did not make sense. And I remember opening up the pantry and it was dark in the pantry. And I remember thinking I was just in darkness. And I remembered thinking, but I, I've always had some sort of consciousness and I always felt like there was a loving presence that was with me always and feeling like it was a stage or I was being tested or like there was more to this than met the eye.

 

Hmm.

 

Right. And so as I grew older that. That got, I mean, you know, my master's degree is, uh, from a college, the California Institute of Integral Studies in transpersonal psychology. And transpersonal means this is not the most, um, exacting of definitions, but it's beyond the person that healing isn't just mind and body, it's also.

 

Spiritual. So it has always been deeply a part of who I was. And then her passing in particular really just galvanized this sort of wake up to your life and being in your I not your being in my fifties, it just was like, Time goes by fast. I can't believe I'm in my fifties. I feel like I was just nine years old or in my twenties or thirties.

 

It goes by remarkably fast. Don't take any of it for granted. And if you're gonna live in fear, like what a waste of our time here and we just have to get through our shit.

 

Yes.

 

Have to heal.

 

Yeah, we have to heal. I'm thinking back to what you were talking about with your internal story, that you had been talking, that you had been telling yourself most of your life about not feeling safe,

 

but then also how when you were really little you felt this like all loving presence all the time.

 

And it sounds like as you got older, you sort of. Blocked out that loving presence as we do when we, you know, get into adulthood and get really busy. And then this helped you sort of rediscover that, a loving presence.

 

This is a lot of loss all around the same time. It seems like it would be pretty easy to fall apart or into a deep hole, as I like to call it, where nothing seems possible or enough to get out of that hole. Where every time you start to claw your way out the world just seems to push you right back into it and nothing you do feels like enough and you think you'll never get everything you want and f the world for making life so much harder for you than everyone else.

 

I wonder what Kristen thinks about this.

 

What does it look like when you slip into a scarcity mindset and how do you get yourself out of it?

 

It's interesting. I was about to sign a, a client and it was gonna be a nice chunk of change. And then at the last minute he pulled out and when I knew that I believed that money was coming, I was like, Hey, I'm rocking and rolling. Things feel good. It's so great when things are going well to believe that things are going well.

 

And then when he pulled out What I did differently than what I did when I was laid off for the second time is that I paused, and this is what I teach clients in terms of emotional regulation, is that whatever we resist persists. And so I had to acknowledge that that felt bad, and I had to acknowledge that fear showed up. We can't live these lives without fear. Fear is so very, very important for our survival, but it's when it goes in the driver's seat of our lives that our relationship to fear becomes problematic. So recovering from it is to say, hi, fear. I'm gonna give it a name. Just recognize that it is present. And then it's just allowing it to be.

 

And this is the mindfulness stuff too, like. Okay, where am I feeling that in my body, curiosity and neutrality, I feel it a lot in my two places. I feel it a lot when I'm feeling disempowered is in my throat, which is connected to communication and having a voice, right? And then on also in my solar plexes, that being a place of personal power.

 

Hmm.

 

And I'll feel it there and that's where I'll feel fear. It's kind of like you are on the top of the rollercoaster and it's about to drop and a. Yeah, bottom or the floor being pulled out from underneath the rug. Being pulled out from underneath you. And so just allow myself the sensation of that and then shifting away from the narrative

 

of why is this happening? Well, I could just really invest in, you know, life is scary and I've never had enough and blah, blah, blah. I know that narrative so well. And shifting to what do I need? It's a really important question. What do I need? I might need. To breathe. I might need to cry. I might need to exercise. I might need to get a hug.

 

And then after I've processed that, it's, that's the emotional regulation. And it could take three minutes, it could take an hour, it could take 30 seconds, whatever's coming up. And then it's the what do I wanna feel and believe? Instead, I get to choose. I wanna feel like, thank you for this opportunity. Not in a, like a pollyannish, like keep, you know, I.

 

Throw in the coal in my stocking, but like, okay, thank you for reminding me to have faith that I, it's all gonna be okay. He's one person among millions of people that I could work with, and I choose to believe that it's an opportunity for me to continue to learn how to emotionally regulate and choose my beliefs and choose my actions.

 

And then getting thoughtful about my marketing strategies. Right. Okay. I gotta market differently. I gotta access more people. What does that look like? Who do I need to talk to? But being thoughtful and anchoring that not from. Scarcity, but from this is what a business owner does, we all do it. Which is not to say that I didn't, you know, like, okay, done, like fear showed up again and then I breathe and then I regulate my nervous system and right, like everything that I teach, like it's always a practice, not a perfection.

 

And it is for me also a spiritual practice. So it's talking to my angels and guides and saying Thank you for all that is like such gratitude, incredible gratitude. And. Thank you for opening up channels as I work to deliver people that I can support and that can provide continued bus abundance for them and for me.

 

Yes. I love all that.

 

Yeah. Is tell me, so I would love to hear if I'm doing a lot of talking. Yes. I'm on the guest on the interview, but how's this resonating with you? Like what's your spiritual belief, if I may be so bold?

 

Yeah. I am so open to,  all of this I'm very spiritual,  I. Think of myself as an empath.  I've always thought that I was, I have definitely been able to,  predict the future from dreams that I've had, like throughout my life. I worked with an acupuncturist, um, this was in, in my thirties in New York.

 

And he once asked me, this was the first time, like I started really thinking about this stuff, but he said to me, so can you tell the future in your dreams? And I was like, oh yes. And he was like the first person to like, make me realize that, oh, that's actually a thing. And.

 

That you.

 

Yeah. And, uh, and somehow he knew this about me, he was the type of acupunc acupuncturist who would not work on you unless

 

he had like, at least, you know, half an hour conversation between each session. 'cause he's like, everything's connected and I need to know what's happening in your mind before I can work on your body, which I loved and appreciated. So I'm really spiritual and I love hearing about this thing, this type of stuff and learning about it.

 

But I'm not, Um, I haven't engrossed myself in it quite as much as you have, or not even nearly as much, but I fully believe it. And I love the idea of like, my grandfather passed away and we were really close and.

 

Sorry.

 

this was a number of years ago, but I was living in New York at the time and he was living in Chicago.

 

And I would come back to Chicago to see him and, you know, I made it a point all the time, especially as he was getting older and, and sicker. And I was really sad when he passed away, of course. And I also remember feeling this like tremendous relief. Like I felt like as soon as he passed away I was sort of, he was just now always with me.

 

Like I was kind of flooded with his like, Energy or spirit or whatever it was. And I felt this like huge amount of like relief. Kind of like you, like I'm now safe. 'cause he's just always here. I'm getting teary.

 

yes,

 

So yeah.

 

yes. Well, what I see in you

 

Hmm.

 

is that you are an empath and that your heart is lighting up. I mean, those tears are just a testament to love, and when we speak truth, it is healing. It is often emotional, and it is based in love. And now that love energy is so freed up with his connection and yours. And like as an empath and someone who's so connected and has, we all have psychic abilities.

 

Yeah.

 

We all do. I hear it likened. Yeah. To like being musicians. We all could play the piano. Some people might sit down and they're like a child prodigy. Other people are like, it's gonna be a while for me to learn like C, C, C, C, D, D D, D.

 

Right. But they could learn it. It's how committed are you? So when I see someone who already has a natural inclination, I just strongly encourage you to invest in it because what if, and I'm saying, what if, especially as someone, and I don't know how you, I, I said how old I am. How old are you?

 

I am 45.

 

Yeah. Someone who's 45 moving into your wisdom like 4, 5, 50, 16.

 

Everything beyond like gets more and more powerful, more and more potent, more and more full of grace and love. You open that channel, the possibilities of awakening and shifting your consciousness and what that will do to you and everyone around you is so limitless and powerful and profound. So just that,

 

Yeah. Oof.

 

yeah.

 

Thank you. Uh, you're the first guest who's made me, oh, you didn't make me cry, but who I've cried with,

 

Good catch. I always say that with my clients. Well, why? Why do you think, and it's not about me, but why do you think, what is it about what we're talking about that is bringing tears? That feels important.

 

It's such a good question. I, I mean, first of all,  probably just the memory of my grandfather, but I think also more, even more than that, I always, I was a sensitive. Kid. And I'm a very sensitive adult and I was always told, you know, oh, you're so emotional. You're too emotional. I could never date you.

 

You're so emotional. Like things like that.  And just lots of like negativity around just being a, a very emotional sensitive person. And so,  rediscovering like, or discovering my sensitivity as a superpower, which I started to do, you know, certainly in my early thirties, like when I was working with this acupuncturist.

 

But I'm still figuring it

 

out even now in my mid forties.  I've been really like embracing it and empowering myself with it, certainly in the past, five years. But,  it's that like wave of emotion when you feel empowered, when you feel like I've had this in me all along.

 

And, I'm finally understanding that like, It's not only okay to like let it out, but I can use it to my benefit and I can, use it for other people's benefit as well and I can like help the world and I can, you know, it's such a superpower just like, ah.

 

yeah, yeah. It's that Dorothy and her slippers clicking them three times. Like you've always had the power. It's always been within you. You know, we're looking for the great and powerful oz. We're being told all the ways I I obviously we are different. I don't wanna, um, glom under your story and say it's my story, but the connection I have highly sensitive being told my whole life.

 

You're so sensitive, you're so sensitive, you cry so easily and don't be so sensitive. And, but it is a superpower as an empath. And it also, back to the souls agreements sold blueprint. It is not an accident. And when I think of what is going on in the world, It is the empaths and the sensitive ones and the ones who have connection to spirit and to feelings.

 

We are the way through.

 

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

 

Oh my God, yes. I can't agree with that more

 

Yeah. We chose to be here right now 'cause we are needed, but

 

Yes, I

 

it requires great, great care. Like take the walk, get the sleep, have alone time, eat healthy food. Move your body more than most. Like I can't push through in a way that I used to because I'm not willing to, because it'll make me sick and I cannot afford to be sick.

 

Yeah.

 

Yeah.

 

Yeah, I love that, we are here, we are playing a really, really important role, especially right now. I,  I was talking to somebody about this recently where I'm like, I can't help, but I. See the good in everybody. I don't mean that in like, I'm not, better than anybody for being able to do this.

 

I just like, I can't, it doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter if you are, you know, if you murdered someone or anything. Like  I can't help but look. Think of that person as like a tiny, innocent baby at some point in like its mother's arms and wondering what all, yeah. Like wondering like what has happened, what life circumstances like that is where my mind goes.

 

And clearly yours too, and yeah.

 

Exactly. Like I have seen those movies where the bad guy is gonna be punished and I'm like, that hurts. I don't want him to be punished. I don't want him to be humiliated. It's not that I. Endorse what he did, but he also has humanity, right?

 

yes. And it is the, yeah, sorry.

 

No, I just, I relate so, so deeply.

 

Yeah. It's that. Oh, go

 

no, no, no. Finish, finish. Go.

 

Oh, I was just gonna say, and it's that, it's the, I think it's the fear. It's when we don't do that, that like just, um, exacerbates like all of the, the bad stuff, like all of the war and just, you know, the hate and all that stuff. It's like, you know, we're so afraid of each other, but like, if you stop to think

 

of, to thi to think of somebody as a human

 

as a human being

 

Yeah. And

 

it's a

 

little bit about what my, um, My one day we'll see Ted talk. It's about rage as a sacred messenger. Back to like emotional regulation,

 

Oh, wow.

 

underneath, anger are deep wells of pain,

 

grief, sorrow. We have to recognize there's such an important message. Pay attention because underneath those places is love and connection, but especially when you think of conservatives versus progressives.

 

You know what role someone like, and I'm gonna lump them because they are archetypes to me like a Trump or a Putin,

 

Mm-hmm.

 

right? What they are propagating and annihilating and bringing up and giving life to,

 

Mm-hmm.

 

right? It's fear, which then unexamined manifests as rage.

 

Yeah,

 

We're misunderstanding that there's, we have to pay attention.

 

And so maybe the Trumps or the Harbinger, 'cause I spent when he was elected, is this okay if I, I don't wanna get too much on politics, is this okay?

 

Yes. This is

 

fine.

 

But when he was elected, he was so devastating

 

Mm-hmm.

 

a sensitive person who wants to lead her life from awareness and love and inclusion and right. Seeing the plight of people who are suffering, who are gonna hurt most by his rhetoric and his policies. I spent so, and then covid and right, like we all have our story around that. But as a sensitive person, I went into just anger. So much anger,

 

Mm-hmm.

 

and it's taken some time to do the emotional regulation to understand this isn't by accident. Trusting that, what is the lesson here? What am I being called towards? Is it more fear consciousness or more love consciousness? And how do I, as a highly sensitive person, as an empath, find my way? And that's, you know, a lot of what the podcast was born out of as well. And

 

Yeah. Oh my goodness. I could talk to you for hours about this.

 

we're probably,

 

Um, but I, but I won't 'cause we both have to go.

 

Well, two Empaths United and got slightly off topic, but we've landed right back where we need to be, where Kristen introduces herself without descriptors like mom, wife, coach, et cetera. Because as you know, we are not our successes. Our failures are titles, our hobbies, experiences. You get the idea. So here we go.

 

My name is Kristen Taylor. I am 53. I am a beautiful work in progress, an infinite soul who chose this lifetime to share a lesson of love, light, and forgiveness.

 

Where can people find you?

 

They can find me at Kristen, K r i s t i N, Kristen Taylor Consulting. They can find me on LinkedIn or they can reach me at coach kristenTaylor@gmail.com.

 

Great. And all of that will be in the show notes. Um, thank you so much for coming today. This was, such a special conversation. Thank you

 

for

 

Thank you for having me. It's such an honor. You are amazing. Thank you for doing what you're  📍 doing.

 

Well, if it wasn't clear before, now you all know just how spiritual I really am. Whether or not you feel spiritual like we do.

 

There's no denying that Kristen is a calming presence with a distinct perspective from who we have a lot to learn. If you love these episodes, please share one, your favorite one with another person you think might also enjoy it. The more we grow, the more we can help you grow.

 

It takes only a minute, and it's truly the best way to support this little show that I work so fricking hard to make. Thank you to Dan Daven for the music and David Harper for the artwork. I am This Age is produced by Jellyfish Industries. I'm your host, Molly Sider. Catch you all next time. 📍