Sometimes change finds us when we least expect it and often when we’re not ready for it. Marla Miller talks us through divorce at 42, a newly diagnosed autoimmune disease shortly after that, and what she did to heal her body and spirit; and not without a good, albeit subtle dose of humor. Marla generously shares her wisdom with us. This is a great episode for anyone struggling through any kind of hard changes!
Sometimes change finds us when we least expect it and often when we’re not ready for it. Marla Miller talks us through divorce at 42, a newly diagnosed autoimmune disease shortly after that, and what she did to heal her body and spirit; and not without a good, albeit subtle dose of humor. Marla generously shares her wisdom with us. This is a great episode for anyone struggling through any kind of hard changes!
Check out Marla's Podcast Open Minded Healing
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To work directly with Molly, contact her here: molly@jellyfishindustries.com
Or go to her website www.mollysider.com
How do we move on from changes like divorce, chronic illness, or loss and loneliness? Sometimes change finds us when we least expect it, and often when we least want to accept it. So what in the world are we supposed to do with those kinds of changes?
Welcome to, I Am This Age, a podcast proving you are never too old to make a big change. I'm Molly Cider, a certified professional life coach, storyteller, and real life change maker in my forties. If you are wondering which of those topics we're going to cover today, fear not, it's all of them.
My guest today, Marla Miller, navigated divorce at 42, followed by a severe autoimmune diagnosis followed by the pandemic, and today she's not only physically healthy. But she's also mentally thriving. She's been through a lot, and she's here to tell her story and inform and inspire how you can embrace any unexpected changes in your life
if you are loving these episodes and wanna help grow the show, great. We need your help. Please share an episode with two people you think might also love the show. Sharing with just two people takes less than a minute, and it means the world to us.
Now without further ado, please enjoy Marla Miller and all her wisdom.
I'm Marla Miller and I'm 58 years old. I would describe myself as a mom and a photographer and a traveler, an adventurer
Marla has had a series of transformational experiences in recent years, starting with the end of her marriage. After a difficult 12 years at 42 years old, Marla got a divorce and her grieving process might just surprise you.
The grieving for me was really about. The idea that I had, that I was going to be with this person in our, little family throughout my whole life.
So letting that go, you also have to really reflect and contemplate like, what did I bring to this marriage? Or what did I contribute to the issues? You know how it's not just one sided either. Even if you, feel like that person did you wrong, it's like there's still some involvement even unconsciously of what drew that person to you in the first place.
You know, why did I end up with this person? And,
How did you contribute to the situation?
you know, looking back, I think during the marriage, I thought I was. Sort of doing the right thing by avoiding conflict and by trying to do what he wanted or not speaking up for myself basically. And that really, it didn't do me any good. And I don't think it did him any good either. it would have ended no matter what.
But I think we could have either come to that conclusion a lot sooner if I had voiced my thoughts more and spoken up more.
What did that, like time afterwards as you were, grieving the life that you thought you might have, but you didn't, what did that help you to understand about yourself or your situation?
First of all, what grieving looked like for me was, um, I remember one weekend just. Watching this documentary on the Pussycat Dolls, like how they all came to be the singer group. Um,
but it was like a whole weekend of that. And so I just watched it nonstop and I just balled my eyes out. but I allowed myself that.
I'm like, this is all I'm gonna do and it's fine. I'm gonna order, food to be delivered and I'm just gonna allow myself this time to just let this all out. Which was, it was a good thing.
When Marla was married, she took care of the kids, so she didn't really have time for her career. But once she left the marriage, she started a business as a boudoir photographer. Now, starting a business is hard for anyone, but for someone with little recent work experience and none is a photographer, I needed to know how she did it and where her confidence came.
After my divorce, I was sort of panicking, like, what am I gonna do for work? Because although I'd been a stay-at-home mom and absolutely loved doing that, I knew financially I needed to bring in an income. So I had always been interested in photography. I mean, even back in high school, I was the one that always had a camera in my hand and was always taking pictures and loved it.
So I had taken some classes here and there, but nothing extensive at that point. So I decided to, revisit that and started getting mentors and taking classes even at the community center or at the nearby college and just started learning and getting basic equipment. And then I just, I joined a network group was, that was probably the best thing I could have done cuz it really brought me connections.
And then I just started practicing on everyone and doing every type of photography, like even products or, portraits or corporate headshots or whatever I could think of. And I never charged anyone. So the big thing for me was learning to accept that I had something to offer and to accept money for that, that was a very big thing for me.
It's important to mention that while Marla was learning the ins and outs of being a photographer, she took other jobs to get her through like catering and working at J. Crew. She did eventually get paid to be a photographer, but as she mentioned, not without her own set of insecurities around how to charge people for the work she was doing a struggle.
A lot of us knew entrepreneurs suffer from.
So it took probably a couple years before I really even asked for payment. And it, it did take working with a fellow photographer to help me with the financial pricing and, and all of that. And for her to give me a lot of encouragement. Like, yes, what you're doing is worthy of this, you know, getting paid in this amount.
And so it was after I had my first three paying clients that I finally gave myself permission to call myself a photographer. was like once I saw three people paid the price that I'd put out there and were really happy with the experience. Cause I think that's the biggest thing, like when you feel like what you're offering, like they won't be happy with it, or I'd always go above and beyond and do so much extra and give 'em extra time and, and all that.
Trying to make myself worthy of getting paid, for something
I'm shaking my head a lot over here.
yeah. Isn't that I guess that is a common thing with a lot of. A lot of people, I think women in particular too,
Yeah. it seems like sometimes it's so easy for, like there are some people out there who just seem to be like, I'm gonna do this now. And then they go out and then they say the thing that they do and then they ask people for money. And people give them money for it. And I'm like I wish it were that simple for, I'm sure it's not actually that simple for anyone, but it, so it like, seems like it's sometimes, you know, watching other people.
And I sit here and I struggle
Yeah,
that confidence to be like, no, I am doing this and I'm also good at it and
yeah,
yeah. to yeah, you're right. To just voice it out loud is so difficult. But you're right. Also, there are some people that are so confident, even when they're faking it till they make it, like they just go out and say, this is what I do in the Yeah. They have no problem in that area. So it is interesting.
I don't know what creates that, why we think we have to be so perfect before, we financially, accept cash for something that, something that we've worked so hard at too, and have built up the knowledge around and and people are telling you that you're good at, but we still, it takes more to internalize that than it probably should.
A few years later believing it was time to let go. Marla sold the house. She once shared with her family and bought and remodeled a new one, converting the garage into an apartment She could rent out something she wasn't completely comfortable doing. But it turned out that may have been the thing that eventually helped to cure her illness, which we'll get into in a minute.
I had trepidation about turning the garage into a studio apartment, but I also have, followed my intuition. And that really ramped up after my divorce. Like I'm just, following my intuition very strongly and I just thought it'll be okay.
Like, it'll, it'll work out. And so what ended up happening was I remodeled the garage, and even before it was done, a friend called and she said, I know someone who, might wanna rent it. And so I met this woman who came by. She loved it immediately and loved the energy of it and the space.
And I was just like, this is the person, so we settled it right away. So she, she was ready to move in before. I ever advertised or it was complete. So I think that's how the universe works when you're open to it, you know, open to receiving and you're manifesting those things. But, what was interesting was that, like I said, how the universe works, is great in that you sometimes do things before you maybe fully understand the reason why you're feeling compelled to do something.
And so after I rented out that studio, it was that same year that suddenly my foot swelled up and I was having trouble walking. So much so that I eventually bought crutches while they were trying to figure out what was going on. Like I was going to all different types of doctors. And months went by and they finally diagnosed me with an autoimmune condition.
Rather than identify as someone with an illness, she separated her sense of self from her diagnosis.
They gave me two different diagnoses and I would go into the doctor's office and I would say, I don't want to know anything about this. All I want are solutions. You know, I don't wanna think about dire outcomes or start putting ideas into my head that then I would create in my body. And so that's how I, that's how I operated,
so I never read up in detail and, looked into the things they were labeling me with. I just, in my head, I truly felt like this was not gonna be my life. , like I did not feel attached to this diagnosis. You know, where some people might, get a diagnosis and take the medication that the doctor prescribes and just be like, okay, this is my life, this, I have to take this medication for the rest of my life.
And I never felt that. I just was like, I am going to keep looking for solutions. you know, I have to say in the beginning when I was diagnosed, I definitely had what my mom would call a pity party. And I spent like four days really depressed and really thinking about what this would mean pain-wise because I have no tolerance for pain.
And I, after four days, so I came upon an idea of seeing this healer that I had heard about. So this person was in Brazil. So once I had the idea and it just gave me any amount of hope, that was the biggest deal, was like having hope that I could get better. Then it changed my whole attitude and, and outlook going forward, and I stopped with the pitting myself and just started looking for solutions and envisioning myself getting better.
And so that was the start of the journey.
That's amazing. That's so inspiring. You said that you approached your illness with this giant sense of curiosity and intuition and other things like you were just talking about. How did those years, or what did those years of healing yourself look like? Now that we understand your mindset?
Well, it started off going to Brazil. I was there for a couple weeks and seeing this healer, and it wasn't even that, the intention was I'm gonna throw aside my crutches. After I go there. Like I sort of in my head realize there are layers to healing. You know, it's like the mind, body, spirit, and I just thought this will, It'll be an experience and it'll bring me one step closer to optimal health. I did go and it was, it was an amazing experience and especially on the spiritual level kind of learning to I guess let go in a way and be accepting and open to ideas that come to you, like possible solutions and just being open-minded and and also feeling that connection to the deeper part of yourself or to, what's greater than ourselves if you wanna say God or the universe or however you wanna label that.
That really deepened for me a lot on that trip. And also, I meditated a lot. I really got into meditation and that really quiet your mind and brings you solutions. So after Brazil, I tried other things.
I mean, I changed my diet radically for three months. You know, no grain, no sugar, no dairy. And then I also did blood work and got the right nutrients for my body that I was depleted in. But along the way, I also decided to go to Bali and go with a group and see some more healers there and just kind of have another part of the spiritual journey.
And then at the end of that year, I went to Chile and I went to see this man, he's written many books and his name is Alberto Valdo. And I had first read his book and then I was like, I would love to see if he does anything like has any events. And so I found he did in Chile. So I went and that was, you know, working with shamans as well as things that help your brain and all different things like oxygen therapy and glutathione treatments and just getting these massages and acupuncture and, to me it was the perfect vacation.
Really. Like , I love all that stuff. And, um, so, oh, that's good then you would love this place as well. And it was eating. Well, we were eating kind of keto and trying to put our bodies in a state of ketosis and just, having that community of people there that you're laughing with and experiencing the same thing with was really awesome.
Yeah.
so for me it was just continually looking for solutions and trying it out. Like it seemed like every month I had a new thing I was gonna try, whether it was detoxing heavy metals or it was, addressing parasites or whatever it was. I took it on like with an excitement. Cuz to me it was a new possibility and it was a new adventure.
And I know some people view healing as a struggle, Like everything's a chore or it gets frustrating or they get depressed about it. But I really viewed it as I'm excited, I'm curious. I wanna learn something new and I want to advance my health and my spirituality and, definitely overcome all my symptoms. So that was my focus, you know, I was focusing on the positive side of it and it actually brought me I was telling someone recently that was actually, that first year of healing was one of the best years of my life, which sounds so odd.
I'm sure to people that are struggling with autoimmune, but, It brought so much love and connection into my life as well, because I had always been like very independent. And you know, as we talk about like not accepting money for what we do, it was also hard to accept people helping me, uh, before that diagnosis.
And so once I got that diagnosis, I asked myself like, what is the lesson here? Cause I wanna learn it fast and move through this. And I thought, what if the lesson is learning to accept help? Because I clearly needed it. Like I couldn't get by without help on crutches. And I had a dog to sit, take care of and take out for walks, and I just couldn't manage.
Even cooking was difficult when I was on crutches. So I thought, all right, the first thing I'm gonna do, I'll accept help from the first person. That offers it. And right after that I was on my crutches going by Whole Foods and then into Starbucks to get my green tea latte with coconut milk. Um, and as I was leaving Starbucks, this young guy, like in his thirties, was holding the door open for me and he said, you know, I saw you walk by Whole Foods and so I thought you might need some help.
Like, I thought you might be going to get groceries after and you might need help. And so, you know, normally I would've been like, oh no, that's, no, that's fine. And I wasn't actually going to go into Whole Foods, by the way. I, in my mind, I'm like, I just said I would accept help from the next person that offered it.
So I, I was like, sure. So we go through Whole Foods and he's holding a bag and putting groceries in for me that I point out. And he also tells me the story of how he had been, he had had, uh, broken Neck at one time and wore this like neck brace. And so he understood the struggle and so he, you know, we had this great conversation and then he helped put the groceries in the car and once I did that and said, I'm going to accept help, it just flooded in like you wouldn't believe. I mean, A another time, not that I'm always at Starbucks, but I was a second time and these two women, they were twins and they were probably in their eighties and they were both in wheelchairs.
And they saw me get out on crutches outta my car and they came wheeling over and they're like, oh, let us help you, let us hold something. And then they got to the door, of Starbucks, and I opened up for them and we paraded in, you know, crutches and two wheelchairs. And so then I, what was funny about it was I, by the time I got to the cashier, I said, you know, I wanna treat those two women.
Cause they were so nice, even though they had their own plight. And meanwhile some other people crowded in between them. So I'm like, all right, just whatever. Pay for all until you get to them But It just showed me how much love and kindness is in the world. If you're open to it, if you allow it, if you allow people to help you and to be kind and to not feel like you always have to be the one showing that kindness.
Like give them the opportunity as well. And that's why I say it was one of the best years because it, I just saw such kindness and love in the world. And that can be the biggest boost to your health, I think, over anything.
Oh my goodness. I love that story. Um, , eventually you did get better. Can you pinpoint the thing that helped you heal the most?
Well, I would say from a physical standpoint, it was definitely the diet change. No grain. No dairy, no soy, that type of thing. And keeping up with my nutrition, just getting blood work every six months and seeing what I was deficient in. Cuz a lot of people with autoimmune, they don't absorb nutrients well.
Um, and there were some other issues. And then I worked on detoxing heavy metals and getting rid of parasites, which people don't like to think about, but they're there. and then the other thing really was I think having a connection to people feeling purposeful, feeling connected, feeling love around you and viewing the world from the point of view that, the universe has your back, the universe is looking out for you.
it's not against you. I think that mindset can make a very big difference as well.
Yeah.
And also just continuing to have hope and looking for solutions. Because even if today you feel like, there aren't any solutions, you keep looking and being open to it and they'll keep being put in your path.
whether it was like a different book I saw in the bookstore or someone recommended, you know, I listen to whatever, a talk or something or a random stranger comes into your life and they have a great idea for you. It's like just be open and looking for solutions. Cuz I, I really do believe there are solutions to everything out there.
Yeah. Ugh. I love that too. And it sounds like being open to it, being open to life and feeling worthy of receiving solutions, maybe.
Yeah. Yes. I think that's really a good point because there are people that struggle and even if they have solutions in front of them, they just, they come up with different excuses or they can't quite stick with something or they already say it'll fail before they even try it.
So
believe it. Yeah.
Yeah. And I think you're right. That does I don't know if it's always the case, but it self-worth is at the bottom of a lot of, um, what do you call it? A lot of. Distractions or that we put in our path or obstacles we create for ourselves.
Yes.
Yes. And when we don't stay open to possible solutions and everything, you just said when we assume like, well, not gonna work anyway, or whatever the story is, it's just, confirming the story that we already believe about ourselves or about our situation.
yeah.
Yeah. .
When you did get better, when you were feeling better, you felt this enormous need to get on the road and travel and visit with all the people that had meant something to you in your life.
You saw people you hadn't seen in 30 years. Why did you have this pull to go on the road and what were your travels like?
I did feel a very strong pull and it was almost like if I stayed put, I would be depressed. Like it was so strong that I just knew I had to get out of the house. I had to leave the space I was in.
And just, I felt a strong need to connect. I did rent out my house and once I hit the road, like literally soon as I think I got my car, that sort of depression, I'd been feeling lifted and was gone. That whole year I was traveling, so I did travel. I saw. almost everyone I knew, I felt like I, you know, I saw people I hadn't seen in over 30 years.
I saw people from high school. I saw my best friend from grade school. I showed up on her doorstep and totally surprised her. I also saw a bunch of people I used to work with in my twenties at a restaurant. I saw people from college. just really anyone I could think of all along the way.
And what ended up happening was I didn't know how that would turn out. You know, when you haven't seen people in a long time or kept in touch, you might not have anything in common. And it might just be awkward, you know, , you run into 'em. But it turned out to be all these relationships were elevated even more.
I guess cuz people go through life and you all go through different things that can be tough and it, it maybe it makes you more compassionate and more open and willing to be more vulnerable. And so the conversations weren't idle chit chat, we kind of got right to the heavier stuff or the, you know, laughing quicker.
And so it was really amazing. And also on that trip, I was just really open to possibilities. I didn't plan a schedule at all. Like, I just wanted to see what the universe had in store for me and be open to it. So I passed a billboard once. It said, go hang gliding with a, you know, in tandem.
Like, you didn't have to take the lessons, you just go. Someone professional. And so I went up the mountain and I, asked if they had availability and they were like, oh, we don't have any, anybody. Let me just make a call. And in my mind I was like, I can let that go if it doesn't work out, but it might still work out.
And they called back and they said, all right, we'll fit you in. And so I did hang gliding at the last minute.
How was that
Well, I had always wanted to try it. And so we took off. Um, well, when I first arrived, I saw this massive cliff and I saw these people running and jumping off from that point.
Hi. Yikes.
I was like, oh, you know, I At first I freaked out for a second and then I was like, no I'm gonna do it.
I'm, committed to this, I'm gonna do it. But then it turned out we took off like a plane pulled us up into the air. So that was a little less intimidating initially. But once I got up there, we were up 2000 feet and just so high above the trees and everything. And you realize when you get up there that you are dangling from this little metal thing out in the wide open air.
You know, there's nothing holding you besides this sort of cable. And I, it, it was, I would say so. terrifying and half exhilarating and,
uh, after we landed, you know, I was like, all right, that's great. Like, I did it. I don't need to do it again. But I'm really glad I did it and tried it.
So cool.
yeah, just doing something different outta your, your usual comfort zone, I guess
Yeah. Were you working while you were on the road?
No, I, no, I rented my house out, so that was
sort the income I used.
Yeah.
it. Okay. And so just this past year you decided to sell your house and you sold or gave away everything you owned except for the really personal things. You renovated the van that you're in right now, and you're basically traveling and living out of your van. Why, why do this
well, I, after Covid, it was right after, we'd been locked down for a year and, I wasn't a hundred percent sure like, oh, I'll rebuild a van and this is for me, like, it wasn't even so much that. I felt such, you know, felt so compelled to live in a van. I mean, it was an idea I had toyed with, but to me it was more, the thing I was so sure about was that going back to my house and to the neighborhood and stuff, it had been something I loved so much when I lived there, but I was just done with it.
Like it was, I don't know. These feelings come to me and they're very strong, where every time I imagine, I'm like, alright, if I sell the house, am I gonna regret that? But every time I imagined going back to the house, I was like, no. Like I just, it didn't bring me happiness anymore. Being there and being in that neighborhood and.
In the house. And I think I kind of knew that when I rented it out. someone rented out the main part of the house as well as the garage studio, but once someone's in my living space and everything, like I have a thing about the energy of things I don't think I would've rented out the main section of the house if I deep down knew I was coming back to it,
if that makes sense.
I don't
Yeah. sense.
so I was confident in selling the house. I wasn't like necessarily as confident in living in the van and what that would look like, but I was confident, no, this is the right choice to sell the house. Like I, I never wavered on that. So yeah, I sold the house and I sort of needed to do that to.
Have the money to build out a van. Anyway, so my nephew built it out for me and he did such an amazing job. yeah, so at this point I've been in my van for a little over a year. So
yeah, I traveled around the country. I traveled up to Maine in the bitter winter and, um, then stayed in Connecticut for a while cuz I had lived there at one time and knew a lot of people. And again, just, connecting with different people and traveling. And I think what I love about it and why I feel comfortable when I'm traveling is I think it's. Maybe connecting with different people that I know as well as new people along the way. And it's getting out of the routine of life, like away from living a life of habit and of jostling yourself a little and waking up to life that's all around you. But that we sometimes get distracted from with our own routines.
You know, living life in a very certain way on a daily basis. When you travel, you cannot have a habit because every day is different. You're traveling, you're meeting people, you, it's hard to establish any kind of even workout routine or, whatever it is. So I think that's what I like about it is it just, it makes you live more in the moment. It makes you appreciate the little things cuz you don't have the convenience or the comfort that you're used to maybe, you know, living in your house.
Yeah, that makes sense. Is there any, do you ever feel any sort of sadness or like home sickness?
uh, I would say the two things, if I get a little anxious or get a feeling of what feels a little like depressed. The anxiousness , has come from like, if I was worried about someone. Someone that I know and love or whatever for whatever reason.
But that I've, I've learned to look at that differently. That we all come here with our own purpose and with our own lessons to learn. And, you know, you gotta release that, like, worry doesn't do anyone any good. As far as feeling like that sort of heaviness that comes from what I like to call it is not depression, but soul repression or or when I'm not sure of my purpose, that's where that comes from. So it doesn't come from a place I live, it comes from within me. Like when I feel like, am I just wandering aimlessly or. is their purpose in this. And when I can find purpose then I find that goes away.
Hmm.
So I think it's really connecting deeper, to my inner being and to really looking at like how I can serve people in this world or, how can I grow and evolve and when I'm doing those things, everything's good.
Yeah.
so so it's, and people have asked me about like, where do you wanna settle down?
Where do you wanna live? Eventually? And at the moment, I have no idea. I said, because it's really not about the specific place, it's about the purpose. Like, I don't wanna just go settle somewhere and live somewhere. To settle.
I want to go somewhere because I'm drawn there for a reason. Just like people when they move, they move cuz they got a job offer or something.
It's, I have to have a purpose in going where I go. I have to feel like that compelling feeling to do something before I just pick a random spot.
Yeah, that makes so much sense. I love the idea that letting go or giving away is actually bringing or giving you something greater.
Yeah, yeah. As far as giving away all the stuff, I mean, I've always been someone who I love to clear clutter. I love to do it for myself. I love to do it for other people and. but you know, when I got this van that's on a whole nother level. Obviously
Yeah.
you don't have anywhere to hide your stuff. So I, but I found it very freeing to let go because a lot of the stuff you have actually, it's not serving you in any way.
It's just random stuff around your house. It's not bringing you, love or fulfillment in any way. Or it might be something from your past that just it, you don't need it anymore, or it has other memories attached to it that maybe, aren't what's filling you up right now, like, or may be holding you back in some way.
So,
Yeah.
Yeah, I find it very, um, even from a health perspective, I find it really important to do that it makes you really think about what is serving me on any level at this point. Like, what's serving me physically, emotionally, spiritually, and what's a distraction? You know, what's a distraction or what's holding me back?
And when you release it, you actually, you have more energy and your focus can go to the things that you really do love or you really want to, work on or develop.
Yeah, I have so much to think about , think about what I need to give away and to get rid of. What sort of thoughts or feelings do you have when you think about your first 40 years or so versus what you've been up to in the past 10 and what you're doing now?
I would say the first 40 years were, for me, were living sort of a more traditional life and, following expectations that people have for you or society has for you. . And like I said I loved it. I loved especially being a mom, and so I enjoyed that time with my kids so much. I would say the beyond 40 has really been about really tapping into who I am, what I want, being my own self-advocate. Learning to use my voice. And using your voice doesn't mean you come across aggressive or, or angry, anything like that. I'm talking about just speaking up and saying what you want and you. Don't let things slide. Like if, if something's bothering you, say it. Don't overanalyze things to death and be willing to take more risks.
I feel like in my, beyond the 40 is when I did all these things, like with the divorce, it's like I use my voice finally and realize that nothing terrible happened when I did that.
Yeah, still
could have used it so much earlier, um, it allowed me to be a self-advocate for myself later when I went into the doctor's offices and realize I have a voice and this is my life.
They can offer their thoughts and opinions, but I also have my own and I also have my inner guidance and my intuition and, you know, my own research and I'm gonna do what's right for me cuz in the past it's like doctors supposedly knew everything and everyone, whatever they said, kind of, people did.
And I've learned that is absolutely not the best way to heal.
Um, that you really have to advocate for yourself and, and you have a right to, you have a right to speak up in a doctor's office and you have a right to accept what they wanna give you or not, or find a new doctor or a new type of doctor, whatever it is.
So I really gained power after 40, and also just learning that enjoyment is I think why we're here. We're here to create, we're here to enjoy life and go toward the things that make you happy. i, I feel a huge shift after 40 that now it's about opening up to all the possibilities and to all your power and to all your creativity into, taking risks and seeing the world from the place of it's here to help you. The universe is, behind you. And just don't be so afraid or so self analytical all the time.
And, and just go for it, you know, live life, live in the moment and go for it and be happy and know that that's fine. You know, you don't have to work so hard to. You know, I think sometimes people think you have to suffer and you have to work hard and in order for, in order to get something in return.
When I think in reality it's like we are meant to come here and thrive and create and enjoy all that comes from that. Life doesn't have to be hard. It can go with the flow, you know,
Yes. All of those things. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Do you find you have to explain yourself to people a lot.
it's interesting. I, the past I have for sure because I've veered off the path so far that. . Yeah. There were a lot of people that just didn't get it, or they would always ask, especially when I traveled the first time, they'd be like but what are your plans? But where are you going? And I would say, I don't know.
And they're like but you must have a plan of some kind. Like, where are you? And I'd be like, I absolutely don't, you know? But there was a part of me that initially felt like I had to defend it or be like, well, or create like some kind of plan to appease them. But I don't do that now. And I'm like, I seriously don't have a plan.
Like I'm gonna go where I feel drawn to at any given moment or do what I wanna do in any given moment. It really is like that for me.
Okay, so Marla clearly has a very strong sense of intuition and a large amount of confidence in trusting that intuition. But what about those of us who don't have that experience? How can we become more open to receiving some of those good universe vibes too?
I think I tap into it more when I have quiet time with no distractions.
I think some people are so busy in life and don't want to sit you. And just think for half an hour or, you know, being quiet or solitude. Um,
but the,
I think so many people have a lot of trouble just being alone for a little while, you know, constantly searching for the, I don't know, something to fill up the space. Anyway, on.
yeah, no, you're right. I think there's a lot of distractions out there, whether it's social media or some people have the TV on all day, or, yeah, they can't be alone with their own thought. They're maybe fearful of what will pop into their head, or they just like they'll be bored out of their mind.
But boredom to me has always been a, a good thing because once you start to get bored, you start to get creative to pull yourself out of that. It brings you ideas. You're not gonna be bored for an entire day because you.
Your brain will wanna create something.
But, um, the quickest way I tap into my intuition is really through meditation. So I remember starting to meditate some years back and I would either sometimes fall asleep or sometimes, not accomplish much cuz I was trying too hard to meditate, you know, or you get distracted and all that.
But I find like if you're consistent and you do it, I started doing it, especially when after my diagnosis, I would do it every morning at the same time and I would look forward to it, have my cup of tea first, and then, make sure I was in a relaxed state. So that's why morning was best for me and I would.
Get really comfortable and warm. Sit on a couch with a pillow behind my back, whatever it takes for you to, feel really comfortable. And then it's just getting yourself into that state where you you know, like when you take a bath in the water, so perfect, you've, you don't feel the water.
It's not
too hot or too cold. That's what meditation is like for me. Like, if I get on the couch and I'm start to get into it, I stop feeling my body. Like if my hands were clasped, I'm like, are they still clasped? Like, cause you can't feel them touching. But I think meditation could be different things. You can quiet your mind. But then for me, I get into creating in my head. Like I'll create, I'll say if, if money's no object, there's no restrictions, no boundaries. Like what do you want in your life? Like, what would be exciting to do?
And things come to me. Like that's how the idea came to me one time to go on that two week road trip with my sister. Like we interviewed people about kindness and went around
and it amazing. But it came through meditation, like the idea just when I really was in that quieted. State and my brain was calm.
And then I started asking myself what would be exciting? You know? And then you just in your head, you create it and get excited about it, and then you draw it to you. It doesn't matter how big the dream is or but I guess, you know, that's manifesting. Like you can manifest all kinds of things. And I find it easiest to do that during meditation because your brain is in that particular brain wave. And I've manifested money that way before meditation. Like before I get deep into it, I'll say, what are all the ways I can bring money to myself? And I did that. And as soon as the meditation was over, like a couple hours later, I got a Venmo from someone paying me back from two years. Prior who I never expected to see money from.
Plus interest, like money can come to you in all different ways. So people, you know, restrict themselves with their health, with money, with so many things because they cut it off, they nip it in the bud before they even start imagining what that could be like, what it could feel like.
Wow.
I tried to get an idea of what's next for Marla, but she still insisted she has no real plan, and I love that. So then I asked as I asked all my guests for Marla to reintroduce herself as her true identity.
I remember this saying, and I feel like it's true, but you know that I am a spiritual being, having a human experience. I was like, that saying. But really I'm just, I guess I'm just a human and a spiritual being that is trying to come here and evolve, grow, and help.
People along the way, if I can. And just be loving and kind.
Yeah, I love that. Thank you for that. You have your own podcast.
I do. It's called open-minded healing. And I started it because going through my own autoimmune diagnosis and learning that what healed me wasn't the md, wasn't the medication, it was, forging my own path and learning how to heal myself. And so I know the answers are out there because I've lived it.
And so I wanted people to have the information.
That's so cool. You are quite the inspiration to me and I imagine. Probably a lot of other people too.
Well, I appreciate you having me on here. And also just that you're doing this. I think it's so great for people to know like life isn't going downhill once you turn 40. It's actually when you do your biggest and best creations and just live life so much more fully. There's so much ahead, so much.
Okay. So to me that episode was all about acceptance, curiosity, letting go, tapping into intuition, connection, and finding your purpose. Do you need help with any or all of these things? I can help you. Email me@mollyjellyfishindustries.com and I will send you information on how you and I can work together to get clear on your purpose. And don't worry, I'll include all the links in the show notes in case you missed any of them. Um, A huge thank you to David Ben Perrott for Sound Engineering.
Dan Daven for the music, David Harper for the Artwork. I am This age is produced by Jellyfish Industries. I'm Molly Cider. Catch you all next time.