The holidays can be full of hard emotions, and if you’re anything like I used to be, you’re doing everything to avoid those emotions. But avoiding hard emotions won’t make them go away. This is my very first solo episode, and I hope it helps you feel a little less alone and a little more comfortable knowing how to feel your feelings and move through them. In this episode, I talk about: - My recent trip to Lapland, Finland (above the Arctic Circle). - How to feel and name your emotions. - How to center yourself when feeling hard emotions. - Other ways to feel confident you can handle any emotion. *This episode is dedicated to my Lapland travel crew who I came across just when I needed them the most.
The holidays can be full of hard emotions, and if you’re anything like I used to be, you’re doing everything to avoid those emotions. But avoiding hard emotions won’t make them go away. This is my very first solo episode, and I hope it helps you feel a little less alone and a little more comfortable knowing how to feel your feelings and move through them.
In this episode, I talk about:
**This episode is dedicated to my Lapland travel crew who I came across just when I needed them the most.
Molly's Links:
Are you on an end of year emotional rollercoaster? busy so you don't have to feel your feelings? Perhaps it's the regrets of the past year's shoulds or the panic of a new year's expectations. Or worst of all, the heavy loneliness of the holiday season.
There is so much pressure this time of year to feel loved, cheerful, and grateful. It's shoved in our faces everywhere we turn. For those without traditional end of year plans or people to celebrate with, this time of year can be extremely difficult. So I thought I'd come on here and share some of what I've learned over the past year.
So if that's you, you know you're not alone in your feelings. And even better, you know there's a way 📍 through them.
Welcome to I Am The Sage, the podcast proving you're never too old and it's never too late. So go do that thing you're always talking about. I'm Molly. I'm the host here. I'm also a certified professional life coach, speaker, and storyteller.
THis past year has held highs and lows. I've gotten to know myself better, and I've created a deep sense of self-trust, which I never really had before.
But I 📍 gained these things through some difficult and awakening experiences like loss and a breakup. My biggest lesson by far has been knowing that I can handle any emotion.
And since I've strengthened my belief in my ability to handle any emotion, I have become braver in my life decisions, actions, and setting boundaries. So how do I handle absolutely any emotion?
📍
Well, let me start by saying handling emotions does not mean that I don't feel emotions. On the contrary, I've allowed myself to feel shitty, sad, lonely, scared, longing, and even regretful.
And I've allowed myself to feel these things deeply. In the past, I hated feeling my feelings and I'd do anything to avoid them. And that often looked like filling my calendar with dinner plans, visiting friends in other cities, and running as many miles as my little legs could handle in a day. And you know what would happen?
I'd stay awake at night, ruminating on my feelings that I was trying to avoid. But I'm older now, and as I'm fond of saying, life is a learning journey. After 40 something years of trying that old way of overcoming hard emotions, I decided to try some new tools I've picked up.
And that includes feeling my feelings. To really lean into them, and to name them. When I've felt sad, I've said to myself, I'm feeling sad right now. I say the words out loud, this really hurts right now. And I acknowledge the pain, the discomfort, the fear even. And I stay with it, trusting that if I relax into the feeling, the feeling will move through and out of me. I know whatever I'm feeling right now will feel different tomorrow, or perhaps later today, or maybe even in 10 minutes. The reason I'm able to trust in this is because every time I try it, I'm right. This does not mean that once I let myself feel an emotion, I don't ever feel that emotion again.
It just means I know I can handle it. Knowing I can handle it means that Every time that emotion comes up, it gets a little bit easier to feel and a little faster to heal. So I will keep feeling it until I've fully healed from it. Strengthening this muscle allows me to take more risks and say no to the things that don't align, like friendships, jobs, and relationships.
And it gives me the courage to say yes to the things that scare me. How else do I know I can handle any emotion? Through my learning journey, I have learned my true identity. So, I just got back from a really special trip to Lapland, Finland, above the Arctic Circle. It was their polar night, so it was dark and very cold.
And we had to wear these thermal suits to protect us from the cold air. I was there with ten other solo travelers and one incredible guide. We were all strangers to each other, and we spent only four full days together. But the bond we created with one another through challenges like ice fishing and, riding husky sleighs and snowmobiling and searching for the northern lights in this extreme climate made us cry at the idea of leaving and inspired us to commit to reconnecting on another adventure trip in the future.
On the last night of our trip, We each wrote our name on a piece of paper and we passed it around for everyone else to write three words that described the person on the paper. And we did this for everyone in the group. And here's the thing. Careers, relationships, and age rarely came up. I don't even know what most of these people do for a living.
But I know things that excite them, things that make them insecure, things that empower them, what they'll speak up for and against, and how they show up to challenges.
For those who have listened to this podcast before, you know I believe that our identity is not our successes, failures, hobbies, or experiences. Our identity is how we respond to those things. Our identity is what we learn from those experiences. And our identity is how we consciously choose to show up next time.
That is who we are. If there is ever an indicator. Of how these people show up to their jobs and their relationships, it is how they showed up in the polar night of the Arctic, cold, with little sleep, laughing, pushing themselves, embracing whatever came their way, with the knowing that they could handle whatever it would be.
Here's the other thing. I went on this trip to be challenged physically. And while this trip was physically challenging, what challenged me the most was the sadness I thought I had left in Chicago, but that had followed me all the way to the Arctic. It was sneaky and unexpected, kept me up at night, and almost got in the way of some really important experiences.
In the end, I prevailed because I was always able to recenter myself with the knowing of who I am at my core. I was able to relax into the assuredness that I am showing up to my life in complete authenticity. Even when I make mistakes, which I make plenty of. I show up for myself the same way I show up for others.
I am making decisions and creating boundaries that honor my greatest values. And I can only do that because I know who I am at my core, which is not how I make money or fill up my calendar.
Finally. I know I can handle any emotion because I continue to cultivate a community near and far that supports me and allows me to support them. I know it's okay to need people and to ask for help. We are not made to do life alone and what a relief that we don't have to. It's through all of these tools that I continue to strengthen my trust that I can handle any emotion because I know I will show up every day in a way that I am proud of embracing challenges, changes, hard emotions, rejection, failure, all of it with an open heart and mind and with kindness and compassion to others.
And myself, so dear listeners, struggling with heart emotions. I invite you to feel too, knowing that you will feel differently tomorrow, that you are not alone in your feelings, that you can have your own back knowing that I have your back too. I see you, I respect you and I love you and you can celebrate the holidays and the new year whenever you want to, or never at all, and it means nothing about your worth, 📍 capability, or how lovable you are.
As always, reach out via the link in show notes or on Instagram, at MollyAtThisAge, for extra support. There's nothing I love more than connecting with my community. More inspiring interviews with amazing people are coming in January. Until next time, stay curious.
Thank you to Dan Davin for the music. David Harper for the artwork. I am this age is produced by 📍 Jellyfish Industries. I'm Sider. Catch you next time.